


Standing At The Precipice

by artificialstella



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Violence, Omega!Yuuri, alpha!phichit, beta!seung-gil, but sometimes love gets in the way of that, set in a universe where alphas and omegas are so rare that arranged marriages become common
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-02 15:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13321179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialstella/pseuds/artificialstella
Summary: After introductions, everyone was called together for the exchanging of the rings. The cool metal weighed heavy on Phichit’s finger as Yuuri slipped it on for him, the other man’s hand trembling slightly as he did so. Afterwards that was a feast, where the two were seated like centerpieces on an elevated stage. The food was a mix of traditional Thai and Japanese, symbolizing their union. As Phichit ate, he couldn’t help but let his eyes sweep the room. Finally he found the face he was looking for, and his heart leapt.Seung-gil looked bored as he leaned back in his chair, a flute of champagne dangling loosely from his fingers. His black dress shirt stood starkly against the pale skin of his neck, and his silver suit looked metallic in the light. His curly hair was artfully styled as usual, draped over his forehead and brushing against his thick brows. There was an unhappy curl to his lips, like he had sucked on something sour. Phichit could only assume it was because he had forced Seung-gil to fly from Detroit all the way to Bangkok for support. Phichit felt a pang of guilt over forcing his best friend to travel across the world for him, especially since he hadn’t really had the chance to talk to him.





	1. The Edge

**Author's Note:**

> What's the best way to dive into writing for a new fandom than with a rarepair? This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but now it's sitting at almost 50 pages in Google docs so I decided to break it up. Expect lots of pining, lots of not communicating, and lots of avoiding a/b/o tropes.

Alphas and omegas used to make up twenty percent of the population collectively, while betas made up the remaining eighty percent. No one exactly knew why those numbers started dwindling. Many blamed the casual disregard of protecting the secondary gender chromosomes. With such a large pool of betas to choose from, so many alphas and omegas found love outside of what their instincts demanded. Some believed that the beta gene was becoming too dominant. A select few even argued it was just evolution, people losing the primal instincts that were no longer required in a civilized society. 

Regardless, alphas and omegas now made up just five percent of the population. A child was still more likely to be born a rare gender than, say, being a natural ginger, but with how important alphas and omegas were in every society, it caused subtle changes in how alphas and omegas were treated. Namely, arranged marriages.

With so few of them in the world, it was hard to find the perfect match. And with the bloodline needing to be ensured, the change was the natural progression. 

Phichit was no exception. He had known since birth that he was special. He was his parent’s pride and joy, their golden alpha boy. Phichit loved the affection. Everyone around him doted on him, from his family to his classmates. He was always being told how important he was. But he also knew he had a duty. He owed it to everyone who coddled him to give them a reason to treat him so well. 

But now that the day was here, all he could feel was dread. Phichit hid it well, his practiced smile fooling everyone around him. It was a celebration, afterall. Phichit was always the life of the party. 

The banquet hall his family had rented was decorated tastefully. Since Phichit was the alpha, the two joining families decided it was best to come together for the first time in Phichit’s hometown, so many of the decorations were traditional to Thai engagement ceremonies. But that was mostly for show, as his family wasn’t particularly traditional. It was just to show a taste of what Phichit offered to his future partner. Colorful, warm, bright. 

When Phichit’s fiance arrived, he momentarily forgot his confliction. Yuuri Katsuki was three years his elder, as well as a few inches taller. He was undoubtedly handsome, with smooth skin, warm brown eyes, and carefully styled hair. He was dressed in a midnight suit that hugged his wide shoulders snugly. But Yuuri held himself like he wasn’t anything special, hunching forward slightly and struggling to hold eye contact. He was overwhelmingly endearing. 

Most importantly though, Yuuri looked just as unhappy with their situation as Phichit felt. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Yuuri,” Phichit enthused with a bright grin, his head slightly bowing forward in greeting. Yuuri replied with a stiff smile, his hands twitching nervously at his side. 

“It’s nice to meet you too,” the Japanese man murmured. 

They wasn’t much opportunity for the two of them to talk, after their first introduction. The engagement ceremony was more for the sake of their parents than for the men themselves. Over the course of the rest of the night, Phichit and Yuuri were herded around side by side, meeting each other’s families. Yuuri didn’t have many guests with him, since it’d be expensive to fly everyone out from Japan to Thailand. But he met Yuuri’s parents, who were too adorable for words, his sister, who looked like she wanted to kick Phichit’s ass, and Yuuri’s ballet instructor for some reason. 

After introductions, everyone was called together for the exchanging of the rings. The cool metal weighed heavy on Phichit’s finger as Yuuri slipped it on for him, the other man’s hand trembling slightly as he did so. Afterwards that was a feast, where the two were seated like centerpieces on an elevated stage. The food was a mix of traditional Thai and Japanese, symbolizing their union. As Phichit ate, he couldn’t help but let his eyes sweep the room. Finally he found the face he was looking for, and his heart leapt. 

Seung-gil looked bored as he leaned back in his chair, a flute of champagne dangling loosely from his fingers. His black dress shirt stood starkly against the pale skin of his neck, and his silver suit looked metallic in the light. His curly hair was artfully styled as usual, draped over his forehead and brushing against his thick brows. There was an unhappy curl to his lips, like he had sucked on something sour. Phichit could only assume it was because he had forced Seung-gil to fly from Detroit all the way to Bangkok for support. Phichit felt a pang of guilt over forcing his best friend to travel across the world for him, especially since he hadn’t really had the chance to talk to him.

“Yuuri, would you excuse me for a moment?” Phichit asked suddenly. Yuuri looked over at him, confusion written all over his face.

“O-of course,” Yuuri conceded. “You’re not chained to my side.” 

Phichit grinned, giving Yuuri’s shoulder a quick pat as he stood up. Thankfully everyone was busy with their own conversations to notice the man of the hour sneaking off. Phichit weaved his way through the tables until he reached Seung-Gil’s. He approached from the side, out of the Korean man’s view. Ever so slowly, Phichit crept forward until he was close enough to touch. 

“Hi Seung-Gil!” He chirped loudly, throwing his arms around the other man’s shoulders. Startled, Seung-Gil jumped, his nearly empty glass of champagne sloshing dangerously. 

“Phichit,” the man hissed, setting the glass down on the table harshly. Phichit just pressed against the back of Seung-gil’s chair more. 

“Are you having a good time?” Phichit asked. Seung-gil’s face looked pinched, so Phichit reached out to smooth the wrinkle formed between Seung-gil’s eyebrows. At the touch Seung-gil sighed and his body untensed marginally. 

“Yeah, sure,” he replied with a shrug. Phichit pouted. 

“That’s not comforting, Seung-gil,” the Thai man grumbled. “As the host I have to ensure all of my guests are entertained at all times.” 

“If you wanted me to be happy you should’ve let me stay home,” Seung-gil shot back. Phichit winced and he let his arms drop. The seat next to Seung-gil was open, so Phichit sat down instead. 

“Thank you again for coming,” Phichit said quietly. “I don’t think I’d be able to do this without you.” 

Seung-gil softened again. It was a look that Phichit had realized over the years was reserved only for him. Seung-gil had a cold exterior. He was aloof, emotionally untouchable. But that was apart of his charm. He was a mystery that dared to be unraveled. Phichit has had about seventeen years of practice working through the labyrinth that was Seung-gil Lee, so he had the privilege to see a side of the Korean man that others didn’t get to. 

“You’re doing fine,” Seung-gil assured. His dark eyes skirted over to the stage, where Yuuri was chatting happily with his mother. He looked more relaxed with his family, a happy flush to his cheeks. “He’s cute, I’m sure you guys’ll get along.” 

Phichit shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn’t like thinking about his engagement with Seung-gil. But as Seung-gil’s gaze flickered to the cold ring now decorating Phichit’s finger, it was unavoidable. 

“Yuuri is sweet,” Phichit agreed. Maybe in another lifetime, he could’ve been content with Yuuri. But he couldn’t fool himself into thinking that it could happen now. There was no room in his heart to love another. 

“Do you think you’ll be happy?” Seung-gil asked seriously. The intensity in his eyes sent a shiver down Phichit’s spine. 

“You know me Seung-gil, I’m the happiest guy out there.” Phichit laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. Seung-gil’s eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to say something, but Phichit’s mother called him over, cutting off the Korean man. Instantly his walls went back up, and he picked up his champagne flute again. 

“You’re needed, Chulanont.” Seung-gil’s chin jerked in the direction of Phichit’s family. Phichit forced a quick smile and stood up. 

“See you around, Lee.” 

Phichit forced his way back over to his family, and he cast one last glance back at Seung-gil, but the other man wasn’t looking at him. Phichit’s heart sank and he turned back around, only to see Yuuri’s curious gaze locked with his. 

The night slowly petered out, the eldest and youngest guests growing tired as the hours drew on. As the crowd began to thin, Phichit’s parents decided it was okay to relieve the two fiances of their duties. A car was called for them, and as Phichit was ushered into the backseat, he realized he hadn’t been able to say goodbye to Seung-gil. 

The hotel wasn’t far from the banquet hall, and someone had already checked them in. Of course he and Yuuri would be sharing a room, to christen their new engagement. A silence fell between the two men as they headed into the elevator. Even Phichit didn’t know what to say. Yuuri was a stranger, but now their lives were intimately entangled. There was an awkwardness hanging in the air that was impossible to broach. 

Finally they made it to their room, and Phichit quietly unlocked the door. Their suitcases were waiting for them inside, packed and ready for their flight to Detroit tomorrow morning. That was when their life together was supposed to truly begin. Yuuri would be moving into Phichit’s bachelor pad and would remain there until the wedding. After that, the couple would have to decide what their next move was going to be, if they wanted to stay in Detroit or settle down somewhere else. 

“Do you want to sit down?” Phichit asked softly. Now that they were alone, Phichit finally had the chance to be honest with his fiance. He wasn’t going to let Yuuri go on believing that this was something Phichit wanted. It wasn’t fair to the other man. Yuuri nodded and moved to the bed, his body hitting the comforter with a soft thud. His hands settled in his lap and he looked up at Phichit expectantly. 

“Yuuri, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to marry you,” Phichit admitted, a nervous smile on his face. His shoulders were squared and his gaze was steady, but inside he could feel his lungs constricting with terror. But instead of looking angry, Yuuri just looked relieved. 

“I had a feeling,” Yuuri answered demurely. “And I think you also have a feeling that I don’t want to get married as well.” 

Phichit’s legs felt weak and he ran his hand through his hair with a ragged breath.

“Yeah,” Phichit replied. “I’m glad we’re both in agreement.” 

Yuuri smiled hesitantly at Phichit and pat the spot on the bed next to him. Phichit took the invitation and crossed the room, letting himself settle into the mattress next to Yuuri. They fell silent again, but this time it wasn’t overbearing. It was comfortable, the two sharing in their mutual feelings. 

“My family isn’t very well off.” Yuuri’s gentle voice broke the silence. “In my town, their used to be a lot of hot springs, and tourists would come from all over to visit and relax. But suddenly the people stopped coming, and now we’re the only onsen left. My parents always saw my being an omega as my chance to escape our situation. They just wanted what was best for me. How could I say no to them when they’ve fought so hard to make sure I’m happy?” 

Phichit knew exactly what Yuuri meant. His status as an alpha meant more to his family than it meant to him. He was their gift, and there was a lot of pressure that went along with that. He had to make his loved ones happy, and by marrying an omega to pass on his recessive genes, he was bringing honor to the Chulanont name. All he had to do was give his life to a complete stranger. 

“I can’t bring myself to marry someone I don’t love,” Phichit stated. He’s never discussed his feelings with anyone else before, but he’d never been in a situation where someone could understand him until now. Yuuri was a calm presence next to him, and Phichit could feel the thoughts he’d bitterly swallowed down now forcing their way out. 

“Does this have something to do with your friend? The Korean man?” Yuuri asked. Phichit’s head shot up. Had he really been that obvious? 

“I…” Phichit’s head dropped and he stared down at his hands. “Yeah, it does.” 

Yuuri hummed next to him. 

“I could tell from the way you looked at him.”

Phichit winced again. He really did wear his heart on his sleeve. He was too open, too trusting. If Yuuri could tell how he felt about Seung-gil just by seeing them together briefly, who else knew? Did Seung-gil know?

“His family moved to Bangkok when I was really little, and our families became really close. We grew up together, and we’d always hang out just because we were the only kids close in age. He was one of the few people who didn’t treat me like I was untouchable just because I was an alpha. He was always so  _ cool _ , and it was always me who was chasing after him. He’s my best friend.”

Growing up, no one would’ve guessed that Phichit was the alpha and Seung-gil was the beta. Seung-gil was aggressive and confident, while Phichit was bubbly and gullible. While Phichit was chubby, blushing cheeks and peeling giggles, Seung-gil was a wall of silence and steely eyes. Even as they grew older, Seung-gil held onto a few inches over Phichit, and while Phichit was broader, Seung-gil held himself like he was bigger. They made an odd pair. On paper, it didn’t seem like the two of them would work. They were too different, Phichit was too overbearing while Seung-gil was too closed off. But somehow they worked. Certainly well enough for Seung-gil to follow Phichit to America for college when he had always intended to go to Seoul. Certainly enough to have Phichit falling hard.

“Have you told him how you feel?” Yuuri asked. A surprised laugh bubbled out of Phichit. 

“Of course not,” Phichit said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “He doesn’t see me like that. I wouldn’t exactly say I’m his type.” 

Not that he knew what Seung-gil’s type was. The man was very mysterious with his lovers, but one time Phichit had stopped by Seung-gil’s apartment in the morning as a surprise, just as Seung-gil’s one night stand was slipping out of the door. The young guy was bright pink as he realized he was spotted, scurrying away before Phichit could even say ‘good morning’. Phichit’s boisterous behavior would probably be a turnoff for such a reserved person, if his shy young lover was anything to go by. 

“He looked pretty upset the entire night, did it ever cross your mind that maybe he was jealous?” Yuuri continued. Phichit waved his words off easily. 

“He probably just misses his dog.” 

Yuuri shot him a look, but didn’t press the subject further. 

“So you’re willing to go against your family for someone you don’t even think returns your feelings?”

“It’s more for your sake than mine,” Phichit mumbled. “I wouldn’t want you to commit your entire life to someone who could never give you the affection you deserve. Maybe I’m a romantic, but marriage should be for love, not bloodlines. I’m sure you can find someone who sees you as Yuuri, and not just Omega.” 

Yuuri looked stunned by Phichit’s words. He stared at the other man, his eyes wide, as he processed what he said. Finally, he leaned forward and wrapped Phichit in a tight hug. 

“Who wouldn’t love you,” Yuuri grumbled, his hands pressing comfortingly against Phichit’s back. The alpha smiled and returned the hug, letting his eyes fall shut. If he was to be stuck in this arrangement, he was glad it was with Yuuri. 

***

The sun had barely risen above the horizon when the pair had to wake up. They moved around the room silently, getting changed for a lengthy day of flying and making sure they had everything they needed. Once everything was ready, Phichit called a cab for them and they made their way down to the hotel lobby. Seung-gil was staying at his family’s place, so he was going to meet them at the airport. 

Their cab arrived, and after loading their luggage into the trunk, they were off. Yuuri was still half asleep, his head listing to the side to rest on the window. The omega looked so much softer with his hair free of product and his thick glasses perched on his nose. Phichit could still see red lines marring Yuuri’s cheek from being pressed to the pillow all night. 

Phichit took out his phone and snuck a picture of Yuuri, then turned his attention to the city sliding by. The streets were the quietest Phichit had ever seen them, with so few awake at such an early hour. Everything looked cold in the weak morning light. It wasn’t like the usual lively streets during the day. 

Their journey continued on in silence, and their driver barely muttered ‘here’ as they pulled into their departure gate. Nevertheless Phichit slipped him a tip as he helped unload their suitcases. Yuuri’s hand clasped around the handle of his bag as he rubbed sleepily at his eye.

“Are we meeting Seung-gil before or after checking in?” he asked as he adjusted his glasses. Phichit frowned down at his phone, staring at the unanswered messages he’d sent to Seung-gil.

“I guess at the gate,” he answered. Yuuri nodded, and the pair moved into the airport.

They made it through check-in and security with relative ease, and stopped at a coffee shop before heading towards their gate. Phichit made sure to get Seung-gil a drink as well, though he had no way of knowing if he got coffee for himself. The man still hadn’t texted him yet, and it was making Phichit’s stomach twist with nerves. 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Yuuri assured as they found three empty seats. Phichit shoved his carry-on into the chair next to him and tugged up his face mask over his nose. 

“I hope so,” he murmured. The fluttering nerves in his stomach made the thought of coffee unappealing, but he enjoyed the warmth leeching into his palms as he held the cup. Yuuri sipped at his own drink contently, a hot green tea with enough caffeine to perk him up, but not enough to keep him from sleeping on the plane. They watched people walking through the airport together as the time ticked on, though Phichit knew that his eyes lingered too long on anyone resembling his missing friend. 

“Sorry I’m late.”

Phichit perked at the sound of Seung-gil’s voice. The man had a backpack slung casually over one shoulder and his thick headphones rested around his neck. There were dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, but he still looked breathtaking. 

“That’s okay! I’m glad you made it,” Phichit enthused after pulling down his mask. “Here, I got you coffee.”

Seung-gil looked grateful as he took the paper cup, sitting down after Phichit moved his bag. 

“There was an accident on the highway right by my house, so it took an extra thirty minutes to get here. I was worried I was going to miss our flight,” Seung-gil explained. He took a big gulp from his coffee and sighed contently. 

“Well, you made it, so let’s just worry about getting to Detroit,” Phichit said with a bright grin. Seung-gil gave a short nod then tugged his headphones over his ears, effectively ending the conversation their. Phichit was used to Seung-gil being extra grumpy in the morning, so instead of taking his dismissiveness personally, the alpha turned to Yuuri. 

They chat about little things, of home and childhood friends and memories from school. The time passes by pleasantly until finally they’re being called to board the plane. The three men shuffle together in line with other sleepy-eyed patrons, though Seung-gil doesn’t speak a word, even as he hands his boarding pass to the stewardess. He looks marginally less stressed now than he did when he first arrived, but there was still a tightness around his eyes that made Phichit’s mouth twitch with a frown. 

The seats are predictably assigned, so Phichit finds himself sandwiched between his two travel partners, Yuuri at the window and Seung-gil at the aisle. When they’re seated, sleepiness seemed to seep back into Yuuri’s features. The omega fought a yawn as he stared out the window, his lips smacking together tiredly. Phichit knew he had lost his conversation partner. Whatever, he was tired too. 

As the plane began its ascent, Phichit pulled out his own battered headphones. Having to switch to airplane mode had been painful to say the least, but he had a large enough selection of music on his phone to keep him entertained until he nodded off as well. 

It was working fairly well, his eyelids feeling heavier as an hour passed. But then, a warm weight fell against his shoulder, and he didn’t have to look to know who it was. Seung-gil’s face was slack in his sleep, his lips forming a small pout as he breathed steady little puffs through his mouth. The headphone on his right ear was skewed out of place by Phichit’s shoulder, but the beta didn’t stir. He just nuzzled his head closer into Phichit’s neck and let out a content sigh.

Phichit’s cheeks flushed pink, and his body was suddenly very awake. It was very awake for nearly the entire seventeen hour plane ride.

***

Adjusting to life with Yuuri hadn’t been as difficult as Phichit had anticipated. Yuuri was a considerate roommate, keeping their common space neat and always offering to prepare two servings whenever he cooked. He had been shy at first, but Phichit would never let things stay uncomfortable for long. Phichit had to make friends with everyone he met, especially if the person was more withdrawn. Clearly it was those people that needed his attention the most. 

Eventually, Phichit’s charms seemed to wear Yuuri down, and he finally let his walls down. It turned out, Yuuri was a pretty funny guy. He had such a quiet, unassuming way to his humor that it always took Phichit a few moments to realize the omega’s words were a joke. Yuuri was also a very patient, wise man. Phichit found himself turning to Yuuri for advice when it came to every little aspect of his life. It also helped that Yuuri understood a lot of what he was going through. They spent many nights curled up in Phichit’s bed, hamsters scurrying between their bodies on top of the comforter as they discussed their insecurities. Yuuri was sick of people looking at him like he was weak, while Phichit hated not knowing if people truly liked him, or if they were just unconsciously drawn to him. Finally, Phichit had someone he could talk to. 

It was almost a month after Yuuri had moved in with him that Phichit had started noticing something was off. Over the past few days, Yuuri was more quiet than usual. He would go off to his dance practices without a word to Phichit, and stayed longer than usual. When he came home he would disappear into the shower, leaving Phichit to prepare dinner for them. Not that he minded. 

After plating their food (a simple rice and tuna combination, he wasn’t exactly a chef), Yuuri met him at the table. The omega had a tense look on his face as he pulled out his seat, not even noticing when Phichit set his food in front of him.

“You okay Yuuri?” Phichit asked gently. Finally Yuuri looked up, and he nodded assuredly. 

“It’s a little awkward to say,” Yuuri admitted. He rolled his chopsticks between his fingers nervously. 

“Yuuri,” Phichit sighed dramatically. “It’s just me. No need to be so embarrassed.” 

“That’s easy for you to say, you don’t even know what it is,” Yuuri whined back. Phichit smiled, happy that Yuuri was finally starting to act normal around him again.

“Then tell me! Would it make you feel better if I admitted something embarrassing first?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Yuuri laughed. After a calming breath, he locked eyes with Phichit. 

“I’m uh, going into my heat soon. So it might be awkward for us to both be in the apartment. Usually it’s fine because my room back home is in it’s own little wing, but things might get uncomfortable here.”

Phichit nodded in understanding. Yuuri was such a private person, of course he’d want space during such a vulnerable time. 

“I was thinking of renting a hotel room for a few days. There are a few that specialize in heat safe spaces around here that I’ve been looking at.”

“Absolutely not,” Phichit objected. “This is your place too, I’m not going to make you waste your money. I’ll just go stay at Seung-gil’s for as long as you need this place.”

Yuuri looked relieved at Phichit’s words, but Phichit could see the objections already forming on Yuuri’s lips. He was too kind to force Phichit leave his house, so the alpha would have to force his side more. He held his finger up to Yuuri to halt his protests and tugged out his phone. He pressed the call button and waited as the phone rang.

“Chulanont,” Seung-gil greeted. Phichit brightened at the sound of his voice.

“Have I ever told you you’re my best friend in the entire world?” Phichit cooed. He could hear Seung-gil huff through the speaker. 

“What do you want you little kiss-up?” 

Phichit laughed warmly. “Nothing much, I just thought we should have a sleepover. It’s been so long.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup! I think a three day party at your place should be enough.”

Seung-gil knew Phichit well enough to interpret the alpha’s words. Phichit wasn’t going to explain the whole situation with Yuuri listening in, so Seung-gil was going to have to read between the lines. 

“Alright, fine. Do you need me to make space for your hamsters?”

Phichit looked up at Yuuri, who shook his head in response. ‘I’ll feed them,’ he mouthed. Phichit shot him a thumbs up.

“Nope, Yuuri’s babysitting them. Thank you so much Seung-gil, you’re the best!” Phichit winked at Yuuri, and the omega tried unsuccessfully to scowl back. 

“Whatever. See you tomorrow Chu.” 

Phichit hung up the phone and grinned smugly at Yuuri. The Japanese man rolled his eyes and began picking at his tuna. 

“You’re a menace,” he accused, but there was no heat in his words. It was obviously a relief for the omega getting to stay in a familiar place during his heat. So, Phichit stuck his tongue out in retaliation and went back to his dinner. 

The next day, Phichit made sure the kitchen was stocked with plenty of energy replenishing snacks and drinks for Yuuri. His stuff was packed and ready at the door, along with his school bag. 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? Do you want me to run to the grocery store and pick up some healthier food too?” Phichit asked. Yuuri rolled his eyes fondly from the entrance to his bedroom. 

“I’ll be fine, I’m a twenty-four year old man. This isn’t my first time.”

“Don’t be cruel, I’m just trying to help my best friend,” Phichit huffed. Yuuri laughed.

“Didn’t you call Seung-gil your best friend on the phone last night? You lack loyalty, Phichit.”

Phichit made a wounded sound. “And now you’re mocking me. I’m going to leave before you can hurt me further.”

After gathering his things, Phichit blew a kiss to Yuuri before leaving the apartment. Seung-gil’s place was a comfortable walk, and with his headphones in the time passed by like a breeze. Seung-gil was waiting for him at the entrance of the building, looking devilishly handsome in a loose white tee. 

“Are you going to explain why you’re suddenly moving in with me?” Seung-gil asked as he helped Phichit with his stuff like a gentleman. 

“Yuuri’s heat starts today, so I wanted to give him some privacy,” Phichit explained. Seung-gil nodded solemnly as they reached the beta’s apartment. The door opened, and Phichit was immediately tackled to the ground. The Thai man laughed, his fingers digging into long fur as a slobbery tongue pressed to his face.

“Hi pretty girl, did you miss me? I missed you,” he cooed. Seung-gil’s husky was still young and full of energy, which Phichit loved matching. The pair made a dangerous duo, especially when it came to playing tug-of-war in Seung-gil’s small apartment. They broke many lamps together, and of course Phichit was the one who had to pay to replace them. 

“Off,” Seung-gil commanded uselessly. He grabbed her collar and pulled her off of Phichit, letting the man sit up. He wiped the dog saliva off of his cheek and grinned up at Seung-gil. The man rolled his eyes affectionately and led the dog into his bedroom, the door closing softly behind him. 

“The couch is all set up for you,” Seung-gil explained. Sure enough, there was a pile of blankets at the end, with pillows tucked against the side. Phichit set his tote bag next to the couch to keep it out of the way.

“Thanks again,” Phichit chirped. Usually their sleepovers were unplanned, often staying at the other’s apartment too long until it was too late to go home. It was strange actually planning on crashing on Seung-gil’s couch. 

“Don’t mention it.” Seung-gil looked at his watch then moved to grab his jacket. Their first classes both started at the same time, so usually they walked to campus together. Judging by Seung-gil’s actions, it was nearing time. Phichit grabbed his school bag, and with that they were off. 

“So my friend told me about a party on Friday,” Seung-gil stated as they strolled. Phichit perked at his words. He was the self proclaimed king of parties. And it’d been so long since he’d gone out, and even longer since he’d gone out with  _ Seung-gil _ . 

“Perfect, we can spend our last day together recovering,” Phichit enthused. Seung-gil chuckled. They were both notoriously bad at handling the morning after, and they only fed into each other’s miserable moods. 

Phichit bumped his shoulder against Seung-gil’s shoulder, and the taller man smiled down at him. The winter sun shined down on the pair, their shadows melting into one behind their traveling forms. 

***

It had been so long since Phichit had been to a college party like this. In Detroit, things were a little different than the typical frat house get together. More often than not someone decided to open up their meager student apartment to as many people as could cram in, and hoped that the neighbors were forgiving enough not to call the police. When he and Seung-gil arrived, the main room of the chosen apartment was already pretty packed. Most people mingled in the living room with different drinks clutched in their hands. Some hovered around the kitchen area, especially where the punch bowl was located. There were closed bedroom doors, and Phichit could hear little pockets of people having their own little sub party away from the main group. They were still early enough that people weren’t dangerously drunk, but there was an overall happy buzz within the apartment. 

“There’s someone from my biology course here, I’m gonna go say hi. Think you’ll be okay without me?” Seung-gil asked teasingly. Already people were waving to Phichit, vying for the alpha’s attention. 

“You’d leave a fair maiden to fend for herself in a room full of strangers?” Phichit gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. Seung-gil’s lips twitched with amusement.

“Phichit, we were roommates freshman year. I know you’re far from a maiden.” With that, he clapped Phichit on the shoulder and moved to the kitchen. Phichit knew he probably wouldn’t see Seung-gil for a while. So, the alpha moved further into the room to find his own friends to entertain him. A beer was pressed into his hand, and excited chatter swelled around him. 

The energy always seemed to shift as soon as Phichit stepped into a party. He knew his presence held a weight, and the pheromones he gave off naturally drew people to him. Over the years Phichit had learned to roll with it. If people were going to pay attention to him solely based on the fact that he was an alpha, he was going to be worth the attention, at least. 

Phichit spent the next hour joining in on drinking games, taking wild selfies, and dancing with everyone who grabbed his hand, all while being handed more and more drinks. Luckily, the Thai man had built his tolerance over his years at college, so the alcohol only hummed pleasantly in Phichit’s veins, making him feel warm and loose-limbed instead of sluggish and ill. The room was starting to spin slightly though, as he bounced around on the makeshift dancefloor, so with an excuse falling from his lips, he found his way to the couch. Phichit flopped down, his arm propping his sweaty face up on the arm of the sofa. The new position helped his vision steady. 

“Hey you.” 

Seung-gil appeared out of nowhere, materializing out of the crowd to flop down next to Phichit. The alpha could tell just by looking at him that Seung-gil was drunk. He had that adorable flush to his cheeks, and a glassiness to his usually steely eyes. It was like alcohol threw open the gates of Seung-gil’s carefully guarded thoughts. 

“Are you having fun?” Phichit asked with a sloppy smile. He could feel his heart pick up speed just at the sight of the other man. How hopelessly gone Phichit was. He was beyond saving at this point. 

“Mhm,” Seung-gil hummed. He raked his long fingers through his curls, now damp with sweat. His gaze was unfocused out at the mass of bodies in front of them. Phichit laughed and threw his arm around him. 

“You’re so drunk,” he giggled. Seung-gil frowned. 

“Hypocrite,” he scoffed. Phichit shrugged and dropped his arm back to his own side. When Phichit was drunk, he had to be careful with how much he let himself touch Seung-gil. It would be so much easier to just slip up and let his hand linger a second too long, his fingers tracing against his skin too adoringly.

Seung-gil looked offended that Phichit had moved away, so he took it upon himself to link their arms together. His fingers lazily traced patterns against the back of Phichit’s hand. It was nice, so Phichit let his eyes fall shut as he leaned further into Seung-gil’s frame. Seung-gil’s touch continued wandering until he brushed against Phichit’s third finger, right where the ring was nestled. Seung-gil’s hand jerked away for a few seconds, then slowly dropped to rub against the gold band. Phichit peaked an eye open to look up at Seung-gil’s face. The drunk man looked stormy as he stared down at the jewelry.

“I don’t like this,” Seung-gil declared. Phichit snorted and closed his hand into a fist, hiding the ring from view. Seung-gil’s hand settled delicately on Phichit’s wrist instead.

“The ring or the marriage?” Phichit asked. “Because if you say the ring I’ll be very offended. I picked it out myself, you know.” 

“I could tell by the tackiness,” Seung-gil shot back. “But I don’t like either. I think we should go buy Katsuki a ticket back to Japan. I’ll go halfsies with you.” 

Phichit pouted. “Don’t be mean, Yuuri is a great guy.” 

“You barely even know him. Do your parents really think spending a year together will magically make you fall in love by the time the wedding rolls around?” 

Phichit had never seen Seung-gil upset when drunk. Usually he was all smiles and heavy petting. Liquor made him affectionate. But it seemed like the ring’s presence was enough to draw something out of Seung-gil. Exactly  _ what _ , Phichit wasn’t sure. Protectiveness? Loneliness? 

Jealousy?

“That’s for me to worry about, Seung-gil.” Phichit unfurled his hand and carefully slid the golden band off of his finger. He slipped it deep into the pocket of his jeans for safe keeping then splayed his hand out, now bare of any sign of Phichit’s engagement. “There, happy? No need to think about Yuuri tonight.”

Something dark flashed in Seung-gil’s eyes as he stared at the now blank skin above Phichit’s knuckle. The beta twisted his body on the couch until he was pressed against Phichit’s side, one leg on the floor for leverage and the other hooking over Phichit’s knee. Phichit was locked into place as Seung-gil’s nose brushed against his jaw. 

“Is that so?” Seung-gil breathed, and Phichit shivered. He was too close, it was quickly challenging Phichit’s self control. The alpha had never before been the object of Seung-gil’s drunken affection. That meant that Phichit had some amazing blackmail on the beta, but it never helped the stab of jealousy he buried deep in his heart. 

“Don’t ask me, you were the one who was so offended by my  _ arranged _ marriage,” Phichit huffed. Seung-gil’s lips brushed against the shell of Phichit’s ear, causing the alpha to turn dark red. 

“Can’t help it,” Seung-gil grumbled. His cool fingers found their way to Phichit’s jaw and he tilted the Thai man’s face towards his own. “And I also can’t help this, since apparently we’re ignoring Katsuki.” 

Before Phichit could breathe a word, Seung-gil’s lips were on his. Shock rippled through Phichit, causing him to freeze. His mind was a whirlwind, unable to process what was actually happening. 

“Phichit,” Seung-gil groaned against his mouth. Incessant hands pressed Phichit back into the couch before the Korean man settled into his lap. His eyes were dark and boring into Phichit with an intensity that took Phichit’s breath away. The hands at his shoulders moved to cup his flushed face. 

“Phichit, relax,” Seung-gil soothed. All Phichit could do was stare up at him, lips parted in shock and awe. He blinked sluggishly, his eyes sliding down to Seung-gil’s lips. He just wanted to taste them again. At the slight gesture, a triumphant grin flashed across Seung-gil’s face.

Seung-gil held him steady as he pressed their mouths together again. The kiss was demanding, his jaw already working to move their lips languidly together. Heat rushed throughout Phichit’s body, and he melted into the soft cushions. An embarrassing whimper caught in the back of his throat and he finally reacted. 

The alpha’s hands clutched desperately at Seung-gil’s hips, and he arched into the body on top of him. A smile pressed against Phichit’s mouth, and suddenly the hands cradling his face shifted into his hair. Seung-gil threaded his fingers into Phichit’s dark locks, blunt nails scratching against Phichit’s scalp as the kiss heated up. 

He could feel Seung-gil everywhere. The beta’s heady, natural scent of orchids filled his nose and invaded his brain. His thighs were tight against Phichit’s waist, his weight firm in Phichit’s lap. His mouth was demanding against Phichit’s, and his touch was rough. It made Phichit dizzy. He just wanted more.

Phichit let his touch wander as his fingers creeped up the back of Seung-gil’s shirt. Phichit knew his whole body ran hot, so Seung-gil’s smoothe back was cool to the touch. Seung-gil made a noise of approval in the back of his throat, so Phichit pushed his hands up with more confidence, his fingers spread to press against the small of the other man’s back. His touch only pushed Seung-gil closer to him until their torsos were flush together and the angle causing them to break apart. Phichit was panting, and he could feel the movement of Seung-gil’s chest against his own as he too caught his breath. But Seung-gil didn’t relent. His wet mouth pressed against Phichit’s jaw, nipping at the hard angle. Then he moved down, pressing quick kisses to whatever skin he could reach.

When the beta’s nose brushed against the scent gland on his neck, Phichit let out a surprised moan. It was one of the most sensitive parts on his body, and even the slight brush sent electricity shooting down his spine. 

“You have the most intoxicating scent,” Seung-gil groaned, burying his face into the crook of Phichit’s neck. “‘s like temple incense. It makes me want to worship every inch of you.” 

Teeth grazed against the skin, and Phichit knew he was in trouble. His senses were completely overloaded. The combination of Seung-gil’s touch, his scent, and his words had Phichit stirring in his too tight pants.

“S-Seung-gil,” Phichit warned, his hands desperately gripping the man’s shoulders to push him back, to get any sort of space so he could think. Or even breathe. The man on top of him complied, shifting so he was sitting tall and proud in Phichit’s lap. There was so much heat in his eyes as he looked down at Phichit, and the alpha immediately knew if he didn’t draw a line now there would be no stopping. 

“How cruel,” Seung-gil sighed, his thumb dragging along Phichit’s swollen bottom lip. “Making me stop when you look this beautiful.” 

Phichit knew he could easily pull Seung-gil back down into a searing kiss and have everything he’s ever wanted. His love was right there, taunting him in his lap, begging Phichit to let his resolve crumble. But the rational part of Phichit knew that it wouldn’t be real. Not with the alcohol still muddling up his thoughts, not with Seung-gil acting out only due to the same substance, and not with the reality Phichit knew he would have to face the next morning. What he wanted was so much more than Seung-gil’s body. 

“Let’s not do something we’d both regret,” Phichit murmured. His words were contradicted by the affectionate way Phichit’s hands slid up and down Seung-gil’s sides as if acting on their own accord. “I’m not willing to trade our friendship for what would probably be the best sex of my life.” 

Seung-gil let out a surprised laugh, but there was something softer about the way he looked at Phichit. The lust was still there, but there was that glimmer of affection that was only reserved for the alpha. 

“It would be really, really great sex,” Seung-gil agreed. The beta combed Phichit’s sweaty bangs off of his forehead. “But I guess you’re right. I’m not quite ready to rid of you just yet.” 

Phichit let out a relieved sigh and pulled Seung-gil down into a hug. The beta immediately relaxed into his touch and his head fell to Phichit’s shoulder with more innocent intent. All Phichit needed was Seung-gil by his side to be happy. It didn’t matter if it was just platonic, as long as they were okay. And right then, they were definitely okay.

“I think I’ve reached my limit,” Phichit admitted. “Is it alright if we go back to your place soon?” 

“Of course.” 

With a final squeeze, Seung-gil untangled from their embrace and stood up off of his lap. As soon as he was on his feet he swayed, and Phichit had to grab his hips to steady him. Neither of them were really at a good place. Seung-gil shot him an apologetic grin and held out a hand to help Phichit off of the couch. Their fingers linked together and Seung-gil led them through the crowd, Phichit throwing out parting goodbyes to everyone he knew as they passed. Once they were out of the apartment, Seung-gil pulled up the number for the taxi service closest to campus. 

They slumped against each other as they waited for the yellow cab to arrive, and shuffled in wordlessly when it did. Now that the loud speakers and chattering people were gone, all of Phichit’s energy had drained away. He let his head rest against the window of the car, feeling every bump in the road as it jostled his skull against the glass. The ride passed in a blur, and when they pulled to a stop at Seung-gil’s apartment the alpha fumbled for his wallet. 

“Keep the change,” Phichit called as he and Seung-gil exited the taxi. The Korean man was too busy hunting for his key, so Phichit directed them into the building and towards Seung-gil’s door. He could feel sleep tugging like suspended weights at every limb as they trudged into his apartment. The pair were greeted by a very happy husky, who’s whole body wriggled with excitement as she circled the pair. 

“I’m too tired to get undressed,” Phichit groaned and collapsed on the couch - his current bed for the next few days. Seung-gil didn’t let him rest, shaking his limp body so he couldn’t fall immediately asleep. 

“You have to. C’mon, I’ll help.” 

Phichit groaned but complied, allowing himself to be guided off of the couch and into Seung-gil’s bedroom. Seung-gil was silent as he stepped back over to Phichit, his hands dutifully working to remove the alpha’s jacket, then his shirt. He pushed Phichit back onto the edge of the bed then kneeled down, carefully unlacing Phichit’s shoes and removing those as well. When he finished, all that was left were Phichit’s pants. 

“Can you handle those on your own?” Seung-gil asked. Phichit swallowed and nodded. He wrestled with his jeans, cursing their tightness once again as he tried to force them down his hips and past his thighs. When he was finally able to kick them off, he looked up to see Seung-gil already down to his underwear. The sight of Seung-gil in such a state of undress, his pale skin almost glowing in the weak light coming through his bedroom window, made Phichit’s breathing falter. Phichit tore his eyes away, his cheeks red. 

“You might as well just sleep in my bed tonight,” Seung-gil suggested. “I doubt the couch will be comfortable and I don’t trust you to not choke on your own vomit in the middle of the night.”

Phichit’s nose wrinkled in disgust but nodded in agreement. He couldn’t say that sharing the same bed with Seung-gil would probably disturb his sleep as well, but definitely not from being uncomfortable. 

“Don’t just sit there like an idiot,” Seung-gil grumbled. He climbed into the bed and ripped the comforter down. The beta settled against his pillows and patted the empty space next to him invitingly. In a trance, Phichit slowly crawled up from the end of the bed and flopped down at Seung-gil’s side. The other man rolled his eyes affectionately and pulled the blankets over both of their bare bodies. With the comforting weight of the sheets surrounding them, Phichit found himself growing braver. In the darkness of Seung-gil’s room, Phichit wrapped his arm around the man’s waist and pulled their bodies close. Seung-gil slid their legs together in a loose tangle and let his hand drop onto Phichit’s arm. His fingers curled against Phichit’s bicep, and the Korean man met his gaze with a soft smile. 

“I kinda wanna kiss you again, right now,” Phichit admitted sleepily. It felt dreamlike now. Everything was unfocused and hazy, and his body felt heavier than normal. Every inch of him begged for sleep. 

“Payback for earlier?” Seung-gil teased. They were already so close, Phichit could see every delicate eyelash framing Seung-gil’s eyes. 

“Something like that.”

Seung-gil tilted his chin up, and it was all the invitation Phichit needed. He kissed him slowly, letting the calm in the air guide his movements. The hand on Phichit’s arm moved to cup his cheek, and fondness fluttered in Phichit’s heart at the gentle touch. The kiss was over far too soon, a silent goodnight shared between them. Seung-gil turned around in Phichit’s arms, pressing his back against Phichit’s bare torso. Phichit immediately curled his body around the other man’s frame and let his hand rest protectively on Seung-gil’s stomach. As Phichit let sleep overcome him, he couldn’t help but realize that he had never been happier in his life than that moment, with his best friend and love pressed against him, the ghost of his lips still present against Phichit’s own mouth.

***

Phichit was startled awake by a flurry of motion against him. He groaned, rolling onto his stomach and pressing his face into the pillow. Immediately he could feel nausea thick in his throat, and his mouth was uncomfortably dry. The space next to him was warm, but noticeably empty, so Phichit peeked one eye open out of curiosity. Seung-gil was standing next to the bed, a troubled look on his face. His skin was noticeably paler, almost a sickly green in the harsh sunlight. 

“You okay?” Phichit asked, sitting up slightly and letting his eyebrows furrow with concern. The bedsheets slipped down his shoulders, and Seung-gil’s bloodshot eyes followed the movement. That only made his distressed look deepen. 

“We made a mistake,” Seung-gil rushed out. Hurt immediately flashed through Phichit, driving the remaining tendrils of sleep away. Carefully, Phichit rolled onto his back again and sat up against the headboard. The cool wood against his clammy skin was welcome, and the alpha couldn’t help but press his sweaty temple against the surface to try to relieve his headache.

“Nothing happened Seung-gil, don’t worry,” Phichit whispered. The fear in Seung-gil’s eyes, directed at  _ him _ , only made Phichit’s heart feel heavier. Phichit’s mind racked for the memories of last night, trying to capture that unadulterated happiness he had felt. Maybe this was his punishment for giving into his desires. He got to experience everything he’d ever wanted, and now it was blowing up in his face. Phichit was so selfish. 

“We- I went too far last night. I should’ve never come onto you like that.” 

Now Seung-gil was pacing, the tension clear in his posture. Phichit couldn’t believe something as small (though of course it wasn’t insignificant to Phichit) as kissing had Seung-gil so worked up. Was he really that repulsed at the idea of being with Phichit? Was it his musky alpha scent, or possibly the fact that he wasn’t alpha  _ enough _ ? 

“It’s okay, stop stressing yourself out. You’re gonna give yourself grey hairs. C’mere, it’s alright,” Phichit soothed. He held his arms out, inviting Seung-gil into a hug. Seung-gil’s pacing froze and he just stared at Phichit. 

“What about your fiance?” 

Phichit’s arms dropped and his body hunched forward. 

“Yuuri doesn’t have any claim on me yet, nor do I think he wants one.”

Seung-gil didn’t look swayed by his words. 

“I don’t care if you’re not interested in each other like that, you’re still going to be married. Anything you do now is meaningless. By this time next year, you two will be mated. You shouldn’t fool around before then, it’s just going to distract you from the truth.”

Phichit shook his head, his lower lip now tucked between his teeth. He felt like he was going to throw up, both figuratively and literally. There was no way around it now, there was no escaping the confrontation. Phichit’s secrets were going to have to finally be laid out in the open. 

“That’s not true,” he shot back, his voice wavering with emotions. He felt humiliated, so naked in front of his best friend who was glowering at him with such anger. Last night felt like a dream, and Phichit was just waking up to the harsh reality. Of course they would never work, of course Seung-gil wouldn’t want him. Phichit’s status was a curse. He could have anyone he wanted in the world, had the affection of every person whose path he crossed. But not the one person that meant the most. 

“What do you mean?” Seung-gil asked, bristling. 

“I mean, Yuuri and I aren’t going to get married. We talked about it, and we both agreed that’s not what we wanted.” 

Seung-gil’s fists shook at his side, and Phichit had never seen the man so uncomposed before. It was terrifying. 

“Like hell you’re not. Do you know how much money your family has already poured into this? The status that’s riding on your union? Would you really betray your parents like this?”

The words were like a physical slap. Actually, Phichit would’ve preferred if Seung-gil had just hit him instead. The alpha could feel the first wave of tears spill down his cheeks. 

“Of course I don’t want to hurt them! I just… I…” Phichit sniffled and wiped roughly at his face. “Every time I think about my future, the way it is now, it feels like I can’t breathe. I feel so hopeless, I just know I won’t be happy.”

Some of the anger left Seung-gil’s face, but his body remained stiff.

“You like Katsuki, you guys’ll be fine. You don’t have to love him, you just have to pass on your genes or whatever.” 

The flippancy of Seung-gil’s words had bile rising in Phichit’s throat, and without a word he scrambled off of the bed and rushed into the bathroom. He barely made it to the edge of the toilet bowl before he was retching, his whole body seizing at the force of it. 

Passing on his genes. That’s all Phichit was good for, wasn’t it? People didn’t like him because he was a nice guy, or fun to be around. They liked him because his pheromones presented him as something desirable. Phichit was exotic, endangered. His entire purpose in life according to everyone around him was to be a good little alpha and produce enough pups to pass on his rare genetics. Phichit didn’t get to fall in love, because there was nothing worth loving, except for his body. 

His sweaty cheek pressed against the rim of the seat, and he laid on the floor, choking back sobs.

Phichit didn’t even feel human anymore. 

“You’re working yourself up too much.” Seung-gil’s voice was soft, and the man carefully kneeled down next to Phichit. He lifted him off of the toilet and held him against his chest, his fingers brushing through the sweaty hairs at the back of Phichit’s neck. It was a mockery of their embrace the night before. It was pity that drove Seung-gil to his side, not the desire to be closer. He could never understand what his touch actually meant to Phichit.

“I’ve been holding everything in for a long time,” Phichit admitted quietly. 

“If you don’t want to marry Katsuki, what do you want?” Seung-gil asked. Phichit stiffened and pulled out of Seung-gil’s arms to look him in the eyes. 

“You. It’s always been you.” 

Seung-gil’s eyes widened, and he inhaled sharply. That terrified look crawled its way back onto his face. 

“Phichit that’s not- we can’t. It’s not right. We can’t even- I’m a  _ beta  _ Phichit. A male beta. This could never happen. Think of your  _ parents! _ ” Seung-gil’s voice was panicked, and he gripped Phichit’s shoulders like a vice. He shook him, trying to drive his words into Phichit’s head. 

“Do you think I care about that? Alpha, beta, who fucking cares? I wouldn’t want to bring a kid into this world anyway, if it meant they had to deal with all of this.” 

“You can’t be serious Phichit. You’re so important, everyone is depending on you. I know you’re scared but you’re acting crazy.” Seung-gil was pleading now, but there was no swaying Phichit. Ever since he laid his eyes on Seung-gil, at just four years old, he knew he could never look at anyone the same way. There wasn’t a time Phichit could remember when he wasn’t in love with his best friend. It was just as much a part of himself as being an alpha. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to love me back. I already knew you never would. I just need you in my life to be happy. Well, that and I need to not live a lie. I can’t marry someone I don’t love, and if I can’t marry the one I do love then I don’t want to be married at all.” 

Seung-gil’s face darkened, and he pushed away from Phichit. He stood up, back turned away from the alpha still crumbled on the ground. 

“Clearly our friendship has confused you,” Seung-gil began. Something about his voice had Phichit shivering. “You’re talking nonsense. All your life you knew you were going to have to do this, and only now has it become a problem. You’re going to marry Yuuri, and if the only way I can make you realize that is to stop being your friend then fine. Get out of my house Phichit, go back to your fiance. Don’t talk to me until you get over whatever this weird little crush is.” 

Stunned. That was all Phichit could feel. It was like his whole body went numb, like it was going into shock. 

“Seung-gil-”

“ _ Go! _ ”

The shout pulled Phichit out of his frozen state. Phichit shakily got to his feet and fled the room. He could barely see past the tears misting in his eyes as he hastily threw on his clothes from the night before. His things were all still shoved in his bag, thankfully, so he threw it over his shoulder before fleeing Seung-gil’s apartment.

His body moved on autopilot as he made his way back to his apartment. He couldn’t think, couldn’t feel, it was like he was separated from his body. He just walked, one foot in front of the other, until he was at his door. His hands were shaking furiously as he pulled his key out of his jacket pocket, and it took nearly a minute of trying to guide it into the lock before he could twist it open. 

As soon as he stepped in the door, all he could smell was the sweet scent of heat pheromones. It was old, but deeply saturated in the apartment. Yuuri’s sweet honey scent clouded Phichit’s mind along with the dark, bitter heartbreak. It only made his head throb.

“Phichit?” 

Yuuri came out of the kitchen, dressed only in a pair of underwear and a loose t-shirt. His hair was a tangled mess, and his eyes still looked glassy, but Phichit could tell he was out of his heat. Only the faintest traces were fresh in the air, dominated mostly by Yuuri’s normal scent. The omega took one look at Phichit before his face fell. 

“Oh Phichit, what happened?” He crossed the room and quickly enveloped the alpha in a tight hug. Phichit was still frozen, his arms limp at his side. All he could do was be held. 

Finally the dam broke, and everything came crashing down on Phichit. His heart ached with a physical pain, and he threw his arms around Yuuri, a wail leaving his lips. His whole body wracked with sobs, and Phichit knew he was soaking Yuuri’s shirt as his face pressed against his shoulder. 

“It h-hurts so m-much,” the alpha gasped out. Yuuri held him tighter and rubbed comforting circles against Phichit’s back. 

“I know, it’s okay. It’s okay to cry Phichit.” Yuuri pulled him back and held Phichit’s face between his hands. “Let’s move to the couch, okay?”

Phichit nodded, so Yuuri helped him over to the living room. Yuuri tucked the younger man under his arm, letting Phichit rest his head against Yuuri’s chest. His arms looped around Phichit’s frame in a comforting embrace, and it was enough to let Phichit fully sink into his heartbreak.

He couldn’t help but replay that morning over and over in his head. How happy he had been when he woke up, and how quickly it all went wrong. How horrified Seung-gil was at the idea of being with Phichit. It made him feel like a monster. If his best friend was so disgusted by him, how could Phichit ever fool himself into thinking he could ever find love? Maybe his parents knew that, and that’s why they had to arrange a marriage for him. The fear had always plagued him, tugging at the back of his mind, but Phichit had been so good at keeping positive. But now, Phichit couldn’t ever imagine feeling happy. It was dramatic, but with the gaping hole where his heart used to be, it seemed probable. 

“Can you tell me what happened now?” Yuuri asked as Phichit’s sobs quieted. His hand trailed up and down Phichit’s arms, bringing him back from hysteria. Phichit wiped at his damp cheeks and took in a shaky breath. 

“Last night we went out to a party, and Seung-gil was getting really touchy. He’s like that when he’s drunk, but it’s never been directed at me before. And since I was drunk too, I didn’t really have the motivation to stop him. He got all pouty about my ring, and the whole marriage thing.”

Phichit realized finally that his ring was missing from his finger. Startled, Phichit groped around in his jeans pocket until he found the gold band tucked deep within. He took it out and carefully returned it to it’s rightful spot.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I took it off because it was bothering him so much, and as soon as it was gone he was kissing me. It got.... Intense, and eventually I was able to cool everything down. Because I didn’t want us to ruin our friendship with sex.” 

Phichit laughed bitterly, and had to swallow roughly around the emotions now thick in his throat. Yuuri remained silent, listening to Phichit’s story patiently. 

“After that we went back to his place and fell asleep together. Nothing happened really, it was just a bit of kissing and then we both passed out. But god, it was so perfect. I didn’t realize how starving I was for his touch until I finally got it. Then when we woke up, everything was different. When Seung-gil was sober he seemed horrified over what happened. You should’ve seen the look on his face, it was like I murdered his dog. He kept bringing up our marriage and all the family bullshit, so I finally told him that we weren’t actually getting married because I’m in love with him. After that he got so angry and kicked me out, saying our friendship was over. I think he made it very clear that he wasn’t interested.” 

A frown etched across Yuuri’s features, and his hand froze on Phichit’s arm. Phichit could see the omega processing everything Phichit had told him, like he was fitting the pieces into the narrative he already had built. But Yuuri had always believed Seung-gil returned Phichit’s feelings. But it was obvious now that that wasn’t the case. Yuuri could struggle all he wanted to squeeze the puzzle pieces together. It would never make a pretty portrait. It was just a jumbled, broken mess. 

“I’m so sorry Phichit,” Yuuri finally replied. Phichit’s shoulders slumped. 

“I would say I’ll be okay, but I really don’t know.”

“Phichit…”

Yuuri pulled back from Phichit enough to look the alpha in the eyes. There was something glimmering in his eyes, almost dangerous. 

“I wouldn’t mind if we went through with everything,” Yuuri admitted. He took Phichit’s hand, his thumb gliding over his ring. “Going through my heat in your apartment was… a little intense, I’ll admit. With your scent everywhere, it just told my body that an alpha was present. Even now I’ve just barely come out of it, and having you so close is a bit distracting. So, I think I’d be okay if we got married. We live together well, you’ve become my best friend, and I wouldn’t mind having you around to help me through my omega stuff. It’d be a good life, you know? Maybe not the one you wanted, but I think we could be happy.” 

Phichit stared at Yuuri incredulously. Yuuri was looking back at him so gently, like Phichit was delicate. It was so different than the ice in Seung-gil’s eyes. If Phichit did agree to marry Yuuri, he knew it wouldn’t be love. But it would be trust. It would be secure. Phichit could make his family happy, even if it meant swallowing the bitter pill of life and accepting his fate. Phichit could picture it easily- he would finish school, get a well paying job. Yuuri could continue with his dancing, and they’d move into an even bigger apartment. Soon enough they would pop out a few kids, hoping at least one of them was an alpha or omega. The two of them would make a strong partnership.

“I don’t know Yuuri…” Phichit’s head was a jumbled mess, and Yuuri’s proposal was only adding to the confusion. His heart was torn, his hope squashed. Before, he had had his reasons for not wanting to marry Yuuri, even if he didn’t end up with Seung-gil. Phichit had always known his feelings for the beta weren’t returned. But now that everything was out in the open, and he had not only lost his love but also his best friend, Phichit was losing hope that he deserved a happy ending. And Yuuri was offering him a content life. Something simple. 

“Just think about it, okay?” Yuuri pressed a soft kiss to Phichit’s forehead and pulled him back into a hug. Yuuri was too good of a friend to him. He felt like he didn’t deserve the omega, not after all of the trouble he was causing everyone. Phichit steeled himself, shoving all of his sadness down and behind his usual mask. 

“You must be so hungry, Yuuri,” he chided, quickly changing the subject. His voice came out stronger now, deceptively normal. Yuuri’s brows furrowed and Phichit just smiled. “Let me make us breakfast.”

Without another word Phichit pushed off of the couch and disappeared into the kitchen, where Yuuri had been when Phichit first entered the apartment. 

Phichit felt the numbness sinking into his skin again as he began gathering the ingredients to make omelettes. There was no helping it now. Phichit had ruined everything in one fell swoop. Now all that was left to do was look on at the wasteland he had created. By detaching from himself, he was able to view it as an outsider. He couldn’t hurt if he couldn’t feel. 

Phichit hummed as he cooked, the sound hollow in his ears. He could feel Yuuri’s gaze burning a hole into his back from the living room. 


	2. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit struggles after his fight with Seung-gil, Yuuri tries to cheer him up, and somehow they end up finding trouble at a bar. There's also the appearance of one silver-haired Russian. 
> 
> Very minor violence in this chapter, but if bar fights bother you I'd stop reading at "Acting out of instinct..." and control+f to "I think you should listen...". It's really not that bad though!

A week passed, and Phichit could feel himself growing accustomed to his new life. The pain didn’t fade, but it was manageable. He could still force himself out of bed in the morning, greet Yuuri with a grin, and go on with his classes. His classmates couldn’t tell the difference, so who cared if it was all a carefully constructed act? The only one who knew the truth was Yuuri, but aside from the worried glances he gave Phichit when he didn’t think the alpha was looking, he didn’t say a word. Then Saturday rolled around, and Yuuri was dragging him out to a bar. 

“You haven’t showed me any cool places Phichit,” Yuuri chastised. “I’m not a complete prude, you know. Let’s go get a drink.”

So Phichit brought the omega to one of the popular bars among the college students at his university. There was always some sort of sports game playing on the bar’s flatscreens, and there was no shortage of cheap beer on tap. The place was packed when they arrived, but luckily Phichit was able to find one open stool at the bar. He let Yuuri sit, the omega more likely to catch the bartender’s attention than Phichit. Sure enough, the bartender broke away from whatever customer he had been serving to take Yuuri’s order. 

“What can I get you?” He asked, eyes glimmering with curiosity. The beta male wasn’t overly interested, thankfully, just intrigued. Phichit was used to the same treatment, and from the easy smile on Yuuri’s face, it was the same for him. 

“What do you recommend for a lighter beer?” Yuuri asked. He and the bartender started discussing the pros and cons of different brands, so Phichit turned his attention to the crowd. For once, there wasn’t a familiar face in the crowd. Phichit knew so many people on campus, but maybe there was another party going on in town where his friends were concentrated. 

“Phichit?”

The alpha’s attention turned back to Yuuri, and the other man held out a pitcher with a soft smile. There was that worry shining in his eyes again, ever present. It made Phichit’s stomach turn. 

“Aw, what a good husband Yuuri,” he teased, throwing his arm around Yuuri’s waist. Yuuri laughed and lifted his drink for Phichit to clink. 

“Hardly, I put your name on the tab,” he shot back. Phichit giggled and brought the beer to his lips. It seemed like Yuuri and the bartender settled on the perfect brand, because the drink slid light and easy down Phichit’s throat. There was still that bitter aftertaste that all cheap beers left behind, but that just meant he had to wash it back with more beer. 

“Thank you for coming out with me,” Yuuri said warmly. He had barely drank half of his beer, but his cheeks were already dusted pink. It was moments like that that made Phichit remember just how stunning the omega was. His jaw was perfectly sculpted, his lips full, his cheekbones high, and his expressive eyes framed with dark lashes. It was only the loose black hair brushed against his forehead that softened the omega’s look. If Phichit’s affection wasn’t already captured, he knew Yuuri would be irresistible to him. How Yuuri’s parents thought he would ever need an arranged marriage to find someone, he had no idea. Maybe it was Yuuri’s shy nature that held him back. 

“Of course Yuuri! I hate to think of you all cooped up in our apartment every weekend.” 

“Phichit, don’t make me sound like such a loser,” Yuuri griped. Phichit just laughed and squeezed Yuuri’s waist again. 

“Fine, fine. C’mon, let’s take a picture.” Phichit whipped out his phone and opened up the camera, already in front facing mode. Phichit’s face settled into a practiced pose, but Yuuri looked started at his side. Phichit snapped the picture anyway, loving the wide-eyed blushing look on Yuuri. He kept a steady stream of snapshots going, shifting through his different expressions. Yuuri seemed to relax as more pictures were taken, as he began mimicking Phichit’s poses.

Satisfied, Phichit slid his phone back into his pocket and grabbed his beer again. With Yuuri as a distraction, it was easy to forget about the ache in his chest, even if it was just for a moment. 

“Have you ever played pool before, Yuuri?” Phichit asked with a devilish grin. Yuuri blinked at him, his lips pressing into a thin line.

“Ah… no.” 

Phichit’s grin grew and he plucked the omega off of his stool. There were a few different tables in the back, one looking abandoned in the middle of a game. Phichit set his glass down and quickly began setting up a new game. After the balls were settled into a neat triangle, Phichit grabbed the cues. He handed the longer one to Yuuri with a smile.

“We’ll play a simple game, okay? I’ll break, and whatever ball I sink first determines what balls I go after. The colorful ones are solids, and the ones with the bars are stripes. Make sure you avoid the eight ball, because that’s the one that determines the winner. You can only go after it once you’ve sunk all of your balls. I’ll explain the rules more as we go along, ‘kay?” 

Yuuri nodded, so Phichit aligned himself at the end of the table. He bent over the edge, using his hand to guide the cue stick. He drew back, then pushed forward with a controlled strike. The cue ball ricocheted across the table and crashed into the balls with a loud ‘crack’. They scattered, and Phichit watched in delight as one sank into the back pocket. 

“I’m solids,” he declared. The alpha moved around the table and lined himself up for another shot. There wasn’t a clean angle he could take, so he decided to break up the mass of balls further instead of sinking another. Thankfully they spread out better at the second break, giving both players more choices on where to shoot. 

“Your turn Yuuri!”

Nervously, Yuuri stepped up to the table. His eyes analyzed the setup behind his frames as he decided on his target. Finally settling, Yuuri mirrored Phichit’s stance, with the end of the stick balanced between his his thumb and knuckle. He sent the cue forward and yelped as the cue ball careened to the side instead of straight. It bounced wildly off of the walls before barely nudging one of Yuuri’s balls. 

“Not bad for your first shot,” Phichit complemented, clapping Yuuri on the shoulder. The japanese man looked embarrassed, but slightly less so after Phichit’s words. 

Their game continued, and Phichit made sure not to score too often so Yuuri wouldn’t fall behind. The other man seemed to get the hang of the game the longer they played, and both of them were laughing boisterously at every misfired shot. 

“Hey, are you guys interested in playing teams?” 

Phichit looked up from the table and his smile faltered as a pair approached them. They looked like typical college boys, with their university logo printed on their t-shirts. The taller one wore a backwards hat, and there was something in his eyes that made Phichit uneasy. But he smiled regardless and moved to Yuuri’s side.

“Sure! This game isn’t going to end anytime soon, so might as well start a new one!” 

The guy who spoke grinned and his friend went to grab two more pool sticks. Yuuri gave Phichit a look before going to grab all of the balls that had sunk into the pockets. Phichit helped him set them up properly in the rack. 

“Why don’t you break first dude,” the guy offered, his eyes sharp on Phichit. He nodded, leaving Yuuri at the other end of the table as he moved to the cue ball. The man leaned against the table while his friend hovered by the wall. As Phichit got closer, he could pick up on the faint smell of pheromones. Tension zipped down his spine like electricity. The other man was an alpha. 

“Your friend’s pretty cute,” the guy mused as Phichit lined up his shot. His voice was low so only Phichit could hear. 

“You mean my fiancé?” Phichit spat out. His dark eyes narrowed as he stared down the line of his stick. He hit the ball with more force than he intended, causing the triangle to break violently. He couldn’t count how many balls actually sank. 

“I didn’t see a bond mark,” the man challenged. There was a lazy smirk on his face, but it was like that of a hyena’s. He had found his prey, and now he was going to gloat about it. 

“Our relationship isn’t any of your business.” Phichit straightened, but before he could move to the other end a cue stick blocked his bath. 

“I’m making it my business,” the other alpha answered. Phichit bristled, and he shot a look over to Yuuri. The omega was watching them closely, clearly nervous as well. From the way they were positioned, the other alpha was placed in between Phichit and Yuuri. Warning bells were going off loud in Phichit’s head, and his posture immediately slid into defense mode.

“I don’t think we’re interested in playing teams anymore,” Phichit growled. 

“That’s fine. I want to play a new game anyway.” With that, the man’s eyes turned to meet Yuuri’s. The way he looked at Yuuri, like he was some little vixen that needed to be conquered, had Phichit’s blood boiling. 

Acting out of instinct, Phichit grabbed the other alpha’s arm roughly. He wanted to yank him away from the omega, put as much distance between them as possible. He wanted to rip into the other alpha, wipe that smug look off of his face. Yuuri wasn’t some toy that could be played with and tossed aside. The other alpha’s eyes darkened as soon as Phichit grabbed him, and before Phichit could even think, a fist collided with his face.

Phichit’s hand dropped from the man’s arm and the force of the hit had Phichit’s back colliding with the pool table painfully. His hand flew up to his throbbing lip, and when he pulled back his fingers were wet with scarlet blood. 

“Phichit!” 

Yuuri lurched forward, but the other man was still standing between the two of them. As Yuuri tried to close the distance, panic welled up inside of Phichit. His pain was forgotten, and he shoved passed the bigger stranger to place himself as a buffer between him and Yuuri. Yuuri stopped at his side, the omega’s eyes wide with fear.

“This is embarrassing for you man. Your bitch could probably defend himself better than you can. Such a pretty thing deserves an alpha that can treat him right.” 

Shame curled in Phichit’s gut along with rage. He knew he was built differently than most alpha’s. He wasn’t feminine per se, but his short slender frame could never compete against an average alpha. His strengths lied in his charisma, not his physical strength. And smooth words weren’t going to save him now. 

“I’m okay Yuuri,” Phichit said softly, his eyes not leaving the danger in front of him as he spoke. Phichit could tell from the silence that fell in the bar that people had started noticing the skirmish. He knew what they must be thinking. Those wild alphas, always causing trouble. Thinking with their dicks, not their heads. No beta would ever dare step between two brawling alphas. It was dangerous, what instincts made people do. Made  _ alphas  _ do. Betas didn’t get into bar fights like this. 

“So you still wanna act tough? I could go at this all night,” the other alpha sneered. He raised his fists into an offensive posture, his arms tensed and ready to swing. Yuuri was too close, it was too easy for him to get caught in the crossfire. 

Instead of bracing, Phichit pushed Yuuri back, hoping it was hard enough to get him out of the way. After that another punch landed, this time catching his cheekbone. Phichit let out a yelp and his vision blurred as pain blossomed on his cheek. He stumbled back, barely catching the loud curse of his opponent. Adrenaline helped him recover quickly, and he steadied himself. Phichit could feel his left eye start to swell from the bruise forming underneath. He could still taste the sharp sting of coppery blood on his tongue. It wasn’t a fight he could win, he knew that. But he also knew there was no way in hell he was letting that alpha anywhere near Yuuri.

“You little shit, your face his harder than it looks,” the alpha gritted out, shaking out his fist. It looked red where it connected with Phichit’s bone. Served him right.

“That’s enough!” Yuuri protested behind him. Neither alpha budged. Phichit’s heart was pounding in his chest, and his breath came out in little pants. He hadn’t even gotten a hit in, but already his body was weighed by fatigue. Getting knocked around took a lot more out of him than he anticipated. Then again, he’d never been in a situation like this before. 

“Easy way to end this is to come home with me, cutie,” the alpha goaded. 

“Like hell,” Phichit snapped. The alpha rolled his eyes. 

“You’re really starting to piss me off.”

The stranger took a step forward again, his arm drawing back, but froze as soon as a hand clapped down on his shoulder.

“I think you should listen to the man. That’s quite enough.” 

The man who spoke smiled disarmingly, but Phichit could see how roughly his fingers dug into the alpha’s shoulders. He was just as tall, and held himself with poise. There was no mistaking that the older man was an alpha as well, and one that held rank over both of them. The other male shrunk away from him automatically. It seemed like he could only pick on those weaker than him, as he completely lost his gravitas when faced with a mature alpha. 

“We were just messing around,” the kid muttered. The older man tilted his head.

“Ah, you should probably go explain that to my friend over there. He’s on the phone with the police, so it’d be such a waste of resources if they showed up when you guys were just… messing around.” 

“We’re leaving,” the younger man assured. He looked over at his friend, and without a word the two of them hurried towards the exit. As soon as they were gone, Phichit relaxed. Yuuri was at his side in an instant, his hands fluttering around Phichit’s face. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Yuuri said darkly. There was guilt written all over his features. Phichit cupped Yuuri’s face and tried to smile, only to wince as the right side of his face throbbed painfully, his split lip only tearing open more at the action. 

“Ow.” Phichit whined in surprise. Concern only further clouded Yuuri’s features. Phichit really wasn’t a great protector. 

“Why don’t we get some ice from the bar? That looks painful,” the older alpha mused sympathetically. Yuuri’s eyes finally shifted from Phichit and he immediately stiffened. 

“Y-you’re Victor Nikiforov,” he yelped. Phichit shot him a puzzled look, then turned to see the silver-haired man looked startled as well. Soon he melted into laughter, and a charming smile graced his lips. 

“I take it you’re a dancer as well?” Victor asked. Yuuri nodded sheepishly.

“I trained under Minako Okukawa for most of my life,” the omega explained. Victor’s eyes glimmered happily at his words. 

“How impressive! Any student of Miss Okukawa must be incredibly talented.” 

Victor’s words had Yuuri wriggling with happiness, his cheeks a flaming red. 

“T-Thank you.” 

The omega looked ready to burst from adoration, and it warmed Phichit’s heart, even with his throbbing face a painful distraction. 

“We should probably continue this conversation later, though, your friend looks a little worse for wear.” 

Yuuri gasped and gripped Phichit’s arm tighter. 

“How rude of me, I’m sorry Phichit.” Phichit just waved him off, and the three of them headed over to the bar. Everyone seemed to give them a wide berth, and the bartender eyed him sympathetically as soon as they reached the counter. Yuuri helped him onto one of the stools, and when he was settled the bartender handed them a wet rag and a baggie full of ice. Phichit held the makeshift ice pack to his cheek as Yuuri dabbed at his lip with the rag. The sting was intense, but Phichit tried to hold still as Yuuri wiped away the blood. He couldn’t have Yuuri feeling any worse than he already did. 

“I wasn’t lying about my friend calling the police,” Victor commented. “You’ll probably have to explain the situation to them. But I’ll happily be a witness, I know you weren’t in the wrong.” 

Phichit nodded, grateful for the older man’s help. He seemed to represent everything Phichit admired about alphas. He was strong enough to hold his own against another alpha, but he was able to keep his cool and smile regardless of the situation. 

Soon enough an officer made his way through the bar, followed by a man with blond curls. He smiled coyly as he approached, and Phichit knew immediately he was Victor’s friends. The officer asked the three of them to come outside, and after that Phichit explained exactly what went down in detail. Yuuri and Victor corroborated his story, and since Phichit hadn’t thrown any punches himself, the officer assured him he wouldn’t be in trouble. When asked if he wanted to press charges, Phichit shook his head. He just wanted the night to be over and forgotten. After that the officer left, leaving the four men standing together awkwardly. 

“I should probably get him home,” Yuuri murmured. His hand was protectively laced with Phichit’s, like he was afraid the Thai man was going to go off and get himself hurt further if Yuuri let him go. Victor’s eyes crinkled fondly and he nodded in agreement. 

“Make sure you keep those bruises iced,” he instructed. His hand disappeared into his jacket pocket, and he pulled out his wallet. From inside he drew out a business card. “Call me if you ever want to talk about dancing, Yuuri. I’m teaching at a studio here in Detroit for the year, and I would love to have you in my class.”

“Of course,” Yuuri murmured, taking the card and carefully sliding it into his pocket. Victor gave a little wave, before he and his blond friend turned to walk in the opposite direction. Yuuri stared at their retreating backs fondly. 

“Tonight was eventful, huh?” Phichit teased. Yuuri pressed his lips together and nodded. 

“Let’s go home, Phichit.” 

***

Dread pooled in Phichit’s stomach. His eyes were locked on his reflection in the mirror, like staring would make the image melt away, and his normal face would be hiding underneath. But there was no such luck.

The redness from the other night had darkened into a bright purple. His lip was fat where he had been struck, and the cut had congealed into an angry looking scab. It made the right side of his face look puffy, taking away whatever sharpness he had to his features. What was worse was his left cheekbone. The bruise was even darker, gradiating into a lighter shade on the outer edges. Because the blow had been so close to his eye, his bottom lid was swollen, making his eye look deformed. The dull ache from the bruises was nothing compared to the disgust he felt looking at himself. Two days later and his wounds were at the height of their grotesque-ness. There was no way Phichit could go to school like this. 

“Yuuri,” Phichit whined, moving out of the bathroom. “I’m staying home today, I can’t do it. I look  _ hideous _ .”

Yuuri looked up from his book and frowned.

“You could never look hideous,” the omega comforted. “In fact, you look super cool. You’ll have everyone swooning over your new bad boy persona.” 

“You watch way too much anime,” Phichit grumbled. Still, Phichit was torn. His stomach twisted at the idea of people seeing him so vulnerable, but he also couldn’t afford to miss one of his lectures. 

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Yuuri countered. Phichit groaned, his resolve crumbling. 

“Fine, but you’re rewarding me with a pizza and movie night when I get home.”

Yuuri laughed and nodded in agreement.

“I’ll have ‘The King and the Skater’ loaded up before you even walk through the door,” Yuuri assured him. Phichit gave shot him a thumbs up and grabbed his backpack. With a final wave, Phichit left for school. 

It went about as well as Phichit had expected. The two bruises on his face were like magnets to everyone he passed. People stared openly, and when he reached his first class he was surrounded by his peers, badgering him with questions. Phichit was able to keep his cheerful mask on, fielding all of their inquiries with an easy laugh. It was emotionally draining though, so by midday he felt ready to snap.

Phichit trudged across the sidewalk, his mind unfocused as he made his way to the campus cafe. A little coffee would be the perfect pick-me-up. It was easier to keep up appearances when he had energy coursing through him. 

The sound of approaching footsteps drew his attention, and when he looked up from the sidewalk he was met with a sight that had him freezing on the spot. 

Seung-gil hadn’t noticed Phichit yet, his gaze hyper focused on his phone. His usual chunky headphones were covering his ears, his hair curling around them like ivy vines. He was dressed in one of his favorite sweaters, a black turtleneck that was on the right side of baggy to look casual but still fashionable. He looked breathtaking, a stark black and white against the hazy grey sky. Just looking at him made Phichit’s heart thump painfully in his chest. 

Phichit’s prone form must’ve caught Seung-gil’s attention out of the corner of his eye, because finally the Korean man was looking up. They were only a few steps away now, and Seung-gil stopped in his tracks as soon as their eyes met.

Shock flickered across his face, then concern, then hesitance. He yanked his headphones off and his lips parted to say something, but instead he closed them. The silence drew on between them, so unbearable that Phichit was choking on it. 

“Hey Seung-gil,” Phichit greeted casually. He rubbed the back of his head nervously and tried for a smile, which ended in a grimace as pain flared from his lip. He settled for a little half-smile, sheepish and hesitant. 

“Phichit…” Seung-gil stepped closer, his eyes wild with emotions. “What happened? Did someone hurt you?” 

“Oh, this?” Phichit laughed, the sound brittle and thin. Seeing Seung-gil only reopened the wounds that had barely been patched together from last week. But he couldn’t let his heartbreak show. The last thing he would ever want was to hurt Seung-gil. It didn’t matter that his best friend had torn him to shreds. He would never wish any kind of harm on Seung-gil. “Some alpha punk thought it was okay to creep on Yuuri. I tried to step in and well…” 

Phichit shrugged, his fingers brushing over his bruised cheek lightly. “I’m a lover, not a fighter.” 

“Of course you are,” Seung-gil murmured, his voice soft and unsure. He was nothing like the angry man that kicked Phichit out of his apartment now. He looked so much like Phichit’s best friend, the one that used to hold him when he cried and whispered sweet things until Phichit would finally smile again. It made unwanted hope swell in his stomach. Phichit couldn’t trick himself into thinking that Seung-gil would want to be friends again, after what Phichit had admitted. But his stupid heart was so easily fooled by the gentle look in Seung-gil’s dark eyes. 

“If I was there…” Anger suddenly flashed across his features. Phichit chuckled bitterly.

“Seung-gil, why would you have been there? It’d be weird to bring you along on dates with my fiance.” 

Seung-gil blinked at his words, clearly thrown. “You’re right. But still, I hate to see you like this. I just wish there was something I could’ve done.”

Phichit let out a surprisingly bitter huff and rolled his eyes. “Whose decision was it to stop being friends? You lost the privilege to be concerned as soon as you threw me out of your life.”

Seung-gil broke eye contact, shame clear on his face. Phichit softened and stepped closer.

“I’m sorry, that was mean of me to say. It’s just been a long day.” 

“No, you don’t have to apologize. You’re completely right.” Seung-gil looked back up, and Phichit was startled to see they were wet with tears. It was so rare for the beta to ever show any emotions, especially something as intimate as tears. Phichit didn’t even think, he just closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Seung-gil. The other man responded immediately, returning the hug. He held Phichit tightly, and he cheek pressed against the top of Phichit’s hair. The alpha let out a shuddering breath. 

“I miss you,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. Even if their reunion was just temporary, driven by Seung-gil’s nostalgia and pity, Phichit couldn’t help but let the words slip out. Instead of recoiling, Seung-gil just held him closer. 

“I should probably be on my knees begging for your forgiveness right now,” Seung-gil mused. “I can only imagine the hurt I’ve caused you.” 

“We don’t have to talk about that right now,” Phichit assured. It was too good to be true having Seung-gil back in his arms. He’d rather not taint the moment with bitter memories. 

“You were on your way to the café, right?” Seung-gil asked, causing Phichit to blink up at him.

“You know my routine so well,” Phichit teased. 

“Do you want to talk there? I think we both have things we need to get off of our chests.” Seung-gil looked nervous but determined, so after swallowing down his own nerves Phichit nodded. 

“Sure!” 

Together they walked in silence towards the cafe, their arms brushing occasionally as they moved. Phichit kept sneaking glances at the beta. It was surreal having him so close after their last meeting had felt so final. It was almost like that morning had been wiped from Seung-gil’s memories, allowing the pair to fall right back into their usual habits. But Phichit hadn’t forgotten. There was no way he could ever forget the anger in Seung-gil’s eyes, burning straight into Phichit’s heart. Maybe Seung-gil could forgive Phichit for the strain his feelings had put on them, but it would still be a dark cloud in the back of Phichit’s mind. 

When they arrived at the café, Phichit immediately scoured the place for an open table. In the far back corner, right against the window, a tiny two-seater sat unused. 

“Go ahead, I know your order,” Seung-gil prompted. With a nod, Phichit hurried over to one of the open chairs and sat down. He could feel the familiar prying eyes on him as he set down his backpack and shed his coat. Phichit tilted his head down, allowing his bangs to at least partially cover his face. After that he felt the eyes leave him. The Thai man busied himself with his phone as he waited for Seung-gil to return. 

“Are you finally updating your accounts?” Seung-gil asked teasingly as he approached the table. Carefully the Korean man set their coffees down before settling into the seat across from Phichit. The alpha blinked.

“What do you mean?” Phichit asked. Seung-gil suddenly looked aghast, his cheeks flaming as his eyes flickered out the window. 

“It’s just been a few days since you’ve posted anything,” he muttered. Phichit’s eyes lit up.

“Were you stalking me?” He asked gleefully. Seung-gil never checked social media, only posting a picture on the rare occasions Phichit was able to bully him into doing so. The fact that he had kept such close tabs on Phichit’s pages to notice a stagnancy in his  posts made his heart soar. 

“Do you really have to ask me that?” Seung-gil groaned. To hide his embarrassment, the beta brought his drink to his lips and gulped down the hot contents. Phichit’s face softened, and he relented in his teasing.

“It’s not like I could post selfies with my face like this,” he explained. “No one would want to see this ugly mug.” 

Seung-gil’s eyes flashed and all traces of mortification left his face. “There is nothing on this earth that could ever make you look ugly.” 

“Hm, not even that awful novelty t-shirt you had to talk me out of buying in Venice Beach last spring break?” Phichit asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Seung-gil’s lips twitched in amusement, but his face remained serious.

“That was because wearing drug paraphernalia is the quickest way to get deported you foolish boy,” Seung-gil sighed, exasperated. “But even then, you’d still be beautiful.” 

Phichit’s own cheeks heated, and he looked down at his hands with a small half-grin. 

“How is it you always know what to say?” Phichit asked. Seung-gil’s brows pinched and a sour look crossed his face.

“I’ve known you for a long time, Phichit. I know exactly what you need to hear, whether you want to hear it or not.”

Memories of Seung-gil’s cruel words flashed through Phichit’s mind like a jolt. They fell into silence, quietly eyeing each other as they drank their coffee. It was a delicate situation they found themselves in. Never before in their friendship had they fought like that. But never before had Phichit admitted that his feelings for Seung-gil weren’t platonic. There was no way they could proceed like normal. Either Seung-gil was going to have to set some new boundaries between them, or cut ties completely. Phichit didn’t know what was worse; losing him or suffering the fate of Tantalus. Taunted by the very thing he yearned for, so close but unable to grasp.

“So.” Seung-gil took a calming breath, his hands tightening around his paper cup. Phichit could see the tension in his hands, his knuckles white and his fingers strained. “I said I owed you an explanation, and I intend on giving you one.”

“Of course,” Phichit murmured. He reached across the table and put his hand on Seung-gil’s wrist. He wanted to remove any stress that the other man had. Of course Phichit would listen to him without judgement, Seung-gil had nothing to fear. Phichit’s touch seemed to help him relax as well, and the beta moved his hand from his cup to lace his fingers with Phichit’s. The alpha bit into his bottom lip as he admired the tangle of their hands. 

“You have to understand that this isn’t easy for me.” Seung-gil’s eyes hardened as he began. “Ever since we were younger, I always felt this duty to protect you. You were too trusting, too naive. I never wanted someone to take away that brilliant smile. I guess I’ve gotten too lost in my role, because I started letting myself decide what was best for you instead of letting you tell me. I spent my entire childhood preparing for the day you’d have to be married off, so of course I was a little stunned when you went against it. Then, you said it was because of your- your feelings for me, and I started blaming myself.”

Seung-gil’s composure was starting to crack, and Phichit’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I never wanted you to blame yourself,” Phichit said with such an intensity that both men were startled. But Phichit pushed on. “I never wanted you to do anything about it. I knew my feelings weren’t returned, Seung-gil. There wasn’t any intent behind my confession. I just wanted you to understand why I wasn’t going to marry Yuuri.”

Seung-gil’s lips tightened. “Could you please explain that logic to me? If you don’t think I return your feelings, then why were you willing to upset your family and end the arrangement? No one’s expecting you to be in love.” 

“It’s hard to explain,” Phichit admitted. “It’s more of a… A feeling? Like, I just feel nauseous and hopeless whenever I think about getting married. I would be giving up my life to someone else, to my children, and it feels like I’d be losing a part of myself. I also felt like I would be losing you. At least if I wasn’t married, I’d still be free to stay by your side, even if it was just as your annoying best friend.” 

Phichit could feel anxiety flare within him, and he wanted so desperately to reclaim his hand from their intimate caress. But Seung-gil’s hand was like an anchor, holding him steady and present. 

“Honestly, what baffles me the most is how you don’t see how completely gone for you I am.” Seung-gil said the words casually, but they washed over Phichit like an ice-bucket of water dumped over his head. 

“That… doesn’t make sense,” Phichit squeaked out. His mind was racing through memories, combing through years of their friendship to find any thread of a clue. But it just didn’t add up. Seung-gil was so stoic, so mysterious.

Then Seung-gil’s lips twitched in that special, little smile, and all at once it clicked. Seung-gil did care about him, maybe even loved him. There was no denying that Seung-gil held Phichit in a different light than others. Like Phichit was precious to him. 

“You should ask for your tuition back if you’re this dense. Clearly all of this studying is doing nothing,” Seung-gil teased. 

“You’re  _ awful _ ,” Phichit crowed. Every nerve felt like it was alive, his joy so intense he felt dizzy. All he could see was Seung-gil, a demure grin on his face, his eyes as soft as Phichit had ever seen them as Seung-gil stared at him. 

The sound of Phichit’s chair scratching against the tiled floors reached Phichit’s ears before he even realized he was standing up. Clumsily, he leant over the table and grabbed the collar of Seung-gil’s jacket before crashing their lips together.

Pain and pleasure blossomed simultaneously, and Phichit pulled back with a yelp. In his bliss he had forgotten about the current state of his face. Seung-gil’s eyes were wide, startled by Phichit’s brazenness, and doubt immediately started inching its way back into Phichit’s mind. 

“Idiot,” Seung-gil murmured affectionately. He steadied a hand on Phichit’s cheek, and brushed their lips together so softly that Phichit almost couldn’t feel it. The beta favored Phichit’s uninjured side, and the plush fullness of his lips grazed the corner of Phichit’s mouth. The alpha melted, though his body was still awkwardly bent in half over the table, it’s plastic edge digging into his stomach. 

When Phichit pulled back, Seung-gil’s lashes fluttered until finally their gazes met. The alpha wanted to dive right back in, but he knew he had to restrain himself. Now he was all too aware of the chatter in the cafe, and with a quick glance around he could tell that people had noticed their little moment. 

“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” Phichit laughed. Seung-gil’s hand was still at his cheek, holding him close. 

“I don’t blame you. I’m the one who’s supposed to have restraint, but I’m having a hard time not pinning you down to this table right now.” 

Phichit giggled, and finally Seung-gil dropped his hand so Phichit could sit back down. He rubbed his hand over the indent pressed into his skin, his fingers dipping under his t-shirt. 

“You have class soon, don’t you?” Seung-gil asked mournfully. Phichit’s eyes widened and he grappled for his phone. Sure enough, his free time was coming to a close and his final lecture was approaching.

“Shoot, you’re right.” With a frown, Phichit hastily packed his things back up. As he slid on his coat and shrugged on his backpack, he moved around the table to Seung-gil’s side.

“Why don’t you come over my place when I’m done?” Phichit asked hopefully. Things were still so new, they really needed to sit down and decide exactly what they wanted this to be. It was clear now that they both wanted something more, but was Seung-gil ready to let go of his reservations?

“I’ll see you then,” Seung-gil promised. The Korean man took Phichit’s hand and gave it an affirming squeeze. Phichit’s heart swelled with affection. It was so hard to tear himself away and leave the beta behind as he left the cafe.

Phichit could hardly focus in class after that. He sat in the back of his lecture hall, doodling dreamily in his notebook as the professor droned on and on. All he could think about was Seung-gil waiting for him, and each little jump of the hands on the clock meant he was one step closer to reuniting with him.

As soon as the professor dismissed the class, Phichit hurriedly shoved his things into his bag and dashed out of the room, giving an apologetic wave to his startled teacher as he passed. Phichit was practically running as he made his way home, his bag thumping against his thighs. The alpha made it back to his place in record time. As he threw himself through the door, a startled Yuuri looked up from the couch. 

“Phichit?” He questioned. The Thai man froze, then dove onto the couch, his arms tight around Yuuri’s shoulder. He let out a joyful laugh, nuzzling his face into Yuuri’s shoulder. He was just so happy, he couldn’t contain it. Yuuri pat Phichit’s back carefully, and when Phichit pulled back there was a puzzled look on his face. 

“Hi Yuuri,” he greeted with a lopsided grin. “How’s your day been?” 

“Fine… I got everything ready for a night of cheering up, but it seems like you don’t need it anymore.” Yuuri spoke carefully, like he didn’t want to damper Phichit’s happy mood, but obviously confused at the sudden change. 

“About that…” Phichit rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. “You’ll never guess who I ran into on campus!”

Yuuri’s eyes narrowed, and his suspicions were only punctuated by a knock at the door. The two men shared a look before Phichit shot off the couch. His bag was dropped carelessly by the door as he pulled it open. Seung-gil stood on the other side, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he gazed back at Phichit. 

“Come in,” Phichit invited, stepping back from the door. Seung-gil’s hand found Phichit’s waist as he stepped through the threshold. 

“Phichit, you didn’t tell me you had a friend coming over.” Yuuri’s cold voice caused both Phichit and Seung-gil to break out of their lovesick gaze. Yuuri was now standing, his arms folded over his chest and a stern expression on his face. The omega looked intimidating, making Phichit unconsciously flinch back.  

“I didn’t exactly have the chance,” Phichit countered, trying his best to look apologetic. Seung-gil’s hand tightened against his waist.

“Hello Yuuri,” the beta greeted politely. 

“It’s been awhile, Seung-gil,” Yuuri answered. A sudden tension filled the room, a suffocating pressure. Yuuri and Seung-gil’s eyes were locked intensely, as if they were sizing each other up.

“Phichit, why don’t you give Yuuri and I a second?” Seung-gil’s voice was gentle, but there was still tension clear in the tightening around his eyes. Yuuri gave a silent nod of agreement. Phichit wasn’t a fool, he knew they were going to talk about him. Both were too protective for their own goods, like Phichit wasn’t capable of looking after himself. He may be naive but he wasn’t a child. With a roll of his eyes, Phichit pulled away from Seung-gil’s side.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” he muttered. The room stayed silent as Phichit moved into the bedroom. He shook off the negative energy and forced a smile to himself before stripping out of his clothes. Yuuri and Seung-gil could figure out whatever issues they had, it didn’t concern Phichit. He was content, as nothing could touch the elation that Seung-gil’s confession had brought upon him. Phichit was untouchable. 

He took his time in the shower, letting the warm water soothe his face. The small bathroom filled with all different pleasant smells as he washed his hair and body. When he was done, he wrapped a towel loosely around his waist and padded back into his bedroom. Curiosity gnawed at his gut, wondering if the pair were done with their conversation. As quietly as he could, Phichit crept over to the door and opened it a crack. 

“...glad he has you.” Seung-gil’s voice was soft, and Phichit had to strain his ears to catch the tail end of his words. 

“I care about him too, you know. He gave me the courage to live my life for myself. He’s sacrificed so much to do the same, so I’m glad he’s getting the happy ending he deserves.” Yuuri’s words were dripping with fondness, making Phichit relaxed. Neither of them seemed upset anymore, giving him the clear to rejoin them. He threw open his door with a flourish, causing the men on the couch to look up. 

“Are you guys done gossiping about me?” Phichit asked with a wink. Seung-gil’s cheeks were pink and Yuuri gave him an unimpressed look. 

“You’re dripping water all over our floor,” Yuuri chastised. Phichit waved him off. 

“Then the floor is getting clean too. I’m multitasking.” 

“It doesn’t work that way,” Yuuri groaned. “Go put on clothes before I have to break out the mop.” 

“Okay mom,” Phichit grumbled. He shot a wink at Seung-gil before closing his door. He slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a loose tank top, then ran the towel over his hair one final time. He hung it back up on its hook in the bathroom then finally rejoined the two in the living room. 

“I was promised pizza,” Phichit stated as he flopped down on the couch. Yuuri was seated at one end and Seung-gil on the other, so he happily spread across both of their laps. His head landed in Seung-gil’s, while his feet found their home on Yuuri’s thighs. Phichit’s hands settled on his stomach and he sighed happily. He loved both of his boys. 

“It’s on the way,” Yuuri assured. “Though, since you have company over, would you be upset if I went out after we ate?”

Phichit eyed him suspiciously. “Where are you going?”

Yuuri’s cheeks turned pink and his eyes averted away from Phichit’s. “Well… Victor wanted a second opinion on some music selections for one of the pieces he’s working on, and asked if I could help him out. I told him I was planning on spending the night with you, but if you’re feeling better…”

“Victor, as in your new dance teacher who you’ve admired for years?” Phichit asked, his voice teasing. “The handsome alpha who swooped in like a knight in shining armor? No, of course I don’t mind if you go see your Victor.” 

“All you had to say was yes,” Yuuri mumbled, hiding his embarrassed face from Phichit’s mischievous gaze. 

“Ah, but then I wouldn’t get to see your cute little blush,” Phichit shot back. 

“Don’t be mean Phichit.” Seung-gil had been silent for so long Phichit had almost forgotten he was there, even though he was resting in his lap. Phichit’s eyes moved back up to the beta’s face. He was looking at Phichit fondly, and when their gazes met Seung-gil brushed his fingers against Phichit’s cheek. Phichit turned his head and pressed his lips against Seung-gil’s palm. Seung-gil’s smile grew and he moved to run his hand through Phichit’s still wet hair. 

Yuuri’s phone rang loudly, interrupting the moment. The omega answered it quickly, carefully shifting Phichit’s legs off of his lap so he could stand up. He assured the delivery man on the other side of the line that he’d be down shortly as he shoved his feet into his shoes. 

“I’ll be right back,” Yuuri assured before leaving the apartment. When he was gone, Phichit sat up on the couch. Seung-gil’s jeans were noticeably darker where Phichit’s head had been. 

“You can borrow some pants if you want,” Phichit offered. Seung-gil nodded at the offer, so Phichit hopped up off of the couch and offered his hand to Seung-gil. The other man took it, their fingers lacing together as Phichit led them back into his bedroom. Seung-gil waited by his bed as Phichit dug through his dresser. He made sure to pick out his tiniest pair of running shorts plus an old long-sleeved shirt with some random American city scrawled across the chest. Seung-gil shot him an exacerbated look as Phichit tossed the clothes over, but he didn’t protest. 

Seung-gil changed quickly, and Phichit’s eyes hunted for every glimpse he got of the other man’s body. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before, but that didn’t mean he ever grew tired of looking at his best friend. When Seung-gil straightened, tugging the hem of the shirt over his toned stomach, he shot Phichit a look that told him Seung-gil knew exactly what Phichit was doing. The beta stepped closer, his hands settling on Phichit’s waist. His dark eyes were stormy with an unreadable emotion as he stared down at Phichit. It made Phichit’s stomach flutter, both with affection and nerves. He hated not knowing what Seung-gil was thinking.

Without a word, Seung-gil gently kissed the bruise on Phichit’s cheek, then his forehead. His lips lingered, like he was searching for a fever burning beneath his skin. Phichit did feel hot, but he knew it wasn’t from any illness. With a soft sigh, Phichit wrapped his arms around Seung-gil’s torso and pulled him closer. The smell of orchids was ever present around the beta, but when they were this close Seung-gil’s scent was intoxicating. Mixed with the lingering traces of Phichit-s own scent on his clothes, it was a dangerous combination. 

“Let’s go get you some dinner, Peaches,” Seung-gil murmured, and a happy jolt went through Phichit at the old childhood nickname. He nodded, and the pair untangled to go back into the living room. They had plenty of time to be alone together later. 

Phichit made his way into the kitchen to grab a few plates and napkins for them to use. Drawn by the noises, Seung-gil plodded into the kitchen as well. 

“Do you want me to grab drinks?” The beta offered. Phichit nodded, and when the two of them finally finished setting up the table Yuuri reentered the apartment.

“Sorry for the wait,” he apologized. The scent of fresh pizza filled the apartment, especially after he set the box down on the table and opened the top. The hot cheese was still bubbling as steam curled from the surface. Phichit’s mouth watered at the sight. 

After that, the three of them settled down and worked through the pie with ease. One large pizza against three hungry college students didn’t stand a chance. Phichit was able to eat enough to feel satisfied, as he sat back in his chair and pat his stomach. 

“Thank you Yuuri,” Phichit sang, and the omega smiled. 

“Of course. I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Yuuri stood up from the table and collected their plates and glasses. After dumping them in the sink, he went to the living room and began putting on his shoes and coat. 

“I’ll be back later,” Yuuri called as he opened the door. 

“Stay out as long as you’d like!” Phichit gave a little wave and the door shut quietly behind the omega. 

Phichit stretched his arms over his head and pushed back from the table. 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” he asked. Seung-gil nodded, so the pair moved back over to the couch. Just as Yuuri had promised, Phichit’s favorite movie was already loaded into the DVD player and ready to go after Phichit turned to television on. When Seung-gil noticed the title on the screen he groaned. 

“How many times have you seen this movie?” He grumbled. Phichit pulled Seung-gil into his side and grabbed the blanket hanging over the back of the couch, tossing it over both of their bodies. 

“I lost count years ago,” he replied. Seung-gil let out a sigh and shifted so his arm was draped around Phichit’s shoulders. 

“I bet you have every line memorized,” Seung-gil continued. Phichit smirked up at him, and as the beginning scene began, the alpha confidently said the dialogue along with the protagonist. He continued, changing the pitch of his voice to better match the varying actors, until finally Seung-gil’s fingers descended onto his sides, mercilessly tickling him until Phichit was giggling too much to speak. 

“O-Okay, I’ll stop!” Phichit sputtered, his breath coming out in little breathless huffs. Seung-gil’s assault halted, and he pressed a kiss against Phichit’s temple. 

“You are so beautiful,” the beta murmured softly. His hand stroked down Phichit’s bare bicep, causing Phichit to shiver with longing. 

“Took you long enough to notice,” Phichit joked. His own hand found the warmth of Seung-gil’s thigh, and he squeezed his leg affectionately. His touch was innocent enough, but he knew how easy it would be to slide his hand higher, let his fingers dip underneath the edge of Seung-gil’s borrowed shorts. 

“Yuuri explained some things to me, you know.” Seung-gil’s voice turned serious, causing Phichit to perk up. He hadn’t thought either man would’ve discussed what they had talked about together. 

“Yeah?”

Seung-gil nodded, pressing his lips together. “He gave me a better perspective of what it’s like for you two. I never realized how hard it was on you to have all of these pressures and expectations put on you. You were always so happy and took everything in stride, it seemed so natural for you. You were good at hiding your pain.” 

Seung-gil’s fingers ghosted along Phichit’s face, dancing around the edges of his wounds. Phichit grabbed his wrist and brought the beta’s hands away from his face. 

Seung-gil didn’t need to be fussing over healing wounds. 

“I’m stronger than you think, you know,” Phichit sighed. Seung-gil’s lips twisted into a grimace. 

“I never thought you were weak,” he assured. He stayed silent, a calculating look on his face. “Do you… do you really feel like you’re not a person whenever your status is brought up?”

Phichit’s stomach curled uncomfortably and he looked away. It was something he hadn’t really talked about before Yuuri, and he felt a little betrayed that Yuuri had shared something so private.

“It’s not quite like that,” Phichit countered. Seung-gil must’ve been able to see the discomfort on Phichit’s face, because he squeezed Phichit’s arm reassuringly. The alpha took a deep breath. He could trust Seung-gil with his secrets, but he had never wanted to burden Seung-gil with his insecurities. Phichit had always been so confident, even as a child. Admitting his troubles would only ruin the image he had carefully constructed. But there was no judgement in Seung-gil’s eyes, only adoration and concern. 

“Sometimes it feels like people see me more as an alpha than a person,” he mumbled. “Like I’m some raging sex machine spitting out pheromones and lusting after every omega I see. I get that instincts come with the territory, but I’m still a rational, thinking human being.” 

Phichit’s voice wavered, his emotions making his throat feel thick. Seung-gil was a comforting present at his side though, so he continued. 

“I’m not always bothered, of course. I know my parents love me, and my friends. I consider myself a happy person. It’s just something that nags at me sometimes. A stupid little voice in the back of my head telling me that it’s all fake, and people really do only care about my status and not me. But I have plenty of louder voices saying I’m loved.”

“You are.” Seung-gil finally broke his silence. He looked distraught, but there was determination burning like a fire in his eyes. “You light up every room you walk into, Phichit. Everyone you touch can’t help but fall a little bit in love with you.” 

Phichit cupped Seung-gil’s face and ran his thumb along Seung-gil’s cheekbone. 

“My my, Seung-gil, who knew you were such a sap?” Phichit teased, his eyes twinkling. It was so easy to forget his worries when he had such a beautiful creature by his side. 

“You do crazy things to me,” Seung-gil replied solemnly. Phichit smirked and he leaned up to bring his lips close to Seung-gil’s ear. 

“There are plenty of things I can do to you,” he whispered. Seung-gil stiffened under Phichit’s touch, causing the alpha to grin even wider. The dull throb of his lip was worth it. 

“You’re a  _ menace _ ,” Seung-gil gritted out. Phichit giggled loudly, until suddenly his back thumped against the couch and a body hovered on top of his. Heat pooled in Phichit’s stomach as Seung-gil’s weight pressed down against him, his eyes so dark Phichit couldn’t tell pupil from iris. Phichit hook his foot around Seung-gil’s leg and pulled him closer, spreading his own thighs to make room for the beta on top of him.

“Hypocrite,” Phichit huffed. Seung-gil laughed, his head tilting forward until his long hair tickled against Phichit’s forehead. The soothing tenor of Seung-gil’s laugh always made Phichit feel dizzy. It was so rare that the stoic man let out more than a puff of air as a sign of amusement, so his laughter was always precious. 

“If I could, I would totally kiss the crap out of you right now,” Phichit promised. Seung-gil laughed again and bent down, kissing the uninjured corner of Phichit’s mouth. 

“Oh well, looks like I’ll have to do all of the kissing,” Seung-gil sighed. His lips trailed to Phichit’s jaw, then down to his neck. The Korean man’s thick hair was plush against Phichit’s jawline as he mouthed over Phichit’s pulse. The alpha let out a noise of content, which turned into a whine when Seung-gil’s teeth brushed against his skin. 

“You’re always so noisy,” Seung-gil murmured, his mouth still hot against Phichit’s neck. 

“Do you want me to be quieter?” Phichit asked curiously. “I swear if you’re trying to watch the movie while making out with me I’m going to kick you out of this apartment.”

Seung-gil grumbled and bit harder into Phichit’s neck, causing the alpha to gasp. 

“Dummy,” the beta huffed. “As if I don’t always give you every ounce of my attention. And no, I don’t want you to be quiet. I love your little noises. They’re cute.” 

“See, that’s where you went wrong Seung-gil. You’re giving me one hundred percent, but what I really need is a hundred and ten.” Phichit’s hands moved to Seung-gil’s back, and he trailed them lower and lower until he reached the waistband of his shorts. Teasing fingers slipped underneath, and he could feel the warmth of Seung-gil’s skin through the thin barrier of his underwear. 

“Insatiable,” Seung-gil growled. His tongue lapped rough and wet against Phichit’s pulse point, causing Phichit to shudder and force Seung-gil’s hips down. He craved closeness, he wanted to meld their bodies together. It was so much better now that he was sober. Everything was sharp and clear, and Phichit could drown in every minute sensation. 

“I want you,” Phichit breathed, his heart beating fast in his chest. Seung-gil pulled back, his eyes searching Phichit’s face. He looked torn, his gaze constantly flickering to Phichit’s lips, his eyebrows drawing together. 

“I know gorgeous,” Seung-gil replied softly. His lips pressed against Phichit’s forehead and his body shifted away from Phichit’s, causing the alpha’s stomach to drop. “But not tonight. It’s too soon, I don’t want to rush into things.” 

Phichit let out a frustrated groan and tilted his face away from Seung-gil to look at the television screen. He calmed his breathing while focusing on the familiar characters danced across the ice. When the heat boiling in his blood cooled, Phichit finally looked back up at the beta. 

“If that’s what you want,” Phichit murmured, an assuring smile following his words. Seung-gil pushed his own hair out of his face and returned Phichit’s smile. 

“Thank you.” Seung-gil sat back and pulled Phichit up off of the couch. They resettled in a loose embrace, Seung-gil’s arm wrapped around Phichit’s waist, and Phichit’s head resting on Seung-gil’s shoulder. The blanket was now pooled around their waists, a tangled mess from their constant shifting.

Phichit never wanted the moment to end. After so much heartbreak, so much self doubt, it felt like a dream actually having Seung-gil with him. He lifted his hand and pinched the skin of his arm roughly, the pain enough to confirm he was, in fact, awake.

“What was that for?” Seung-gil asked. 

“Just wanted to make sure this was real,” Phichit hummed. Seung-gil’s grip tightened, drawing Phichit closer to him. 

“Dummy,” Seung-gil chuckled. Then, softly, “I love you.” 

It was the first time Seung-gil had said those words out loud, and a torrent of emotions immediately washed over Phichit. But Seung-gil was still an anchor at his side, keeping him from getting swept away by the sheer force of the other man’s words. 

“I love you too,” Phichit whispered. He didn’t trust his voice enough to speak louder. 

Seung-gil’s words settled in Phichit’s mind like a promise. He knew the road stretched in front of them would be impossibly treacherous. He had to betray his family’s carefully constructed future, and pay back every cent they’ve invested into the marriage. He knows that they’ll face all kinds of scrutiny from strangers and friends alike. They were a pair that went against nature, betrayed everything that society expected out of them. It would be  _ hard _ , but worth it. Every hardship was worth the feeling of ‘home’ that settled in his bones with just three words.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I spent a lot of time and energy on this fic, and I'd definitely be interested in writing a follow-up of Yuuri and Victor's side of the story if people would be into that.


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